Author: Clayton

Remember in college when you use to take a shot of beer every minute for an entire hour? I think it was called … alcohol poisoning? Today we did the responsible version (HA! At the notion that I’m responsible). The “Power Half Hour.” 30 Minutes, 25 exercises, 5 sprints and a chaos lap — Half the time, twice the puke. That’s a lie, no one puked (as far as I know). Has anyone seen Laura? Yeah yeah, she ran a marathon on Monday or something. But I was under the impression she did that every weekend. Amy ran the marathon and she made it to the workout. And even though she couldn’t technically do the workout (let alone walk straight) she still sat Indian legged on the center rock like Yoda and called out on their form the people of the tribe. Laura, if out there you are, phone home. Ok, now I’m just mixing up aliens. At least let me know where you keep your spare key so I can break into your house and steal your boom box. Do you know what it’s like to do a whole Wednesday workout when all you can hear are grunts and moans peppered with the irrepressible “WOOO’S” that erupt from Sam Livermore with the painstaking regularity of a geyser? *Sigh* To summarize, we’re floundering without you. read more

In case there was any doubt where the real brains of the NPSF organization are coming from, today was confirmation. The second Laura heads east everything goes to shit. Ok, that’s a little hyperbolic, I was 10 minutes late, but that’s at least what went through my head when I woke up this morning and saw 6:26am on the clock. Luckily and unsurprisingly, Pete Kruse and Lillian Christina (pretty confident that’s her middle name, why does every girl do that on Facebook?) deputized themselves to lead. Pete even made sure the hugging levels were in compliance with corporate standards, revealing once and for all that yes, anyone can do this job. JKLOL Pete, thanks for stepping up. When I DID arrive, Divis kicked my ass, but provided some exceptional views. I’m still working through my 100 burpee punishment. Happy Friday everyone, and GOOD LUCK to our Boston Marathon runners! read more

Fridays are typically reserved for hills. Did I say hills? I meant walls. I meant mountains. I meant sidewalks with stairs. I meant park your car at a 90 degree angle, e-brake or else, San Andreas Fault, State Farm is there, with a renegade can of soup that fell out of your grocery bag and went cascading down the asphalt like a bat out of hell, please don’t hit a Tesla type of hills. Hills that make you reconsider friendships with the people who live at the top of them. But this Friday we decided to do things a little differently. This Friday we had Friday FLATS! read more

If it feels like this morning’s jaunt about the Coit Tower steps was a long time ago, it’s probably because it was. It’s been over 13 hours since we gathered in the rain and fog and took down the 364 steps it is from base to summit. So why are you just reminiscing about it now? Because that’s how long on a typical work day it takes Clayton to get his shit together and write the blog post. Well sorry I’m not sorry. I took like 30 buzzfeed quizzes at work today, and I’d do it again. I always knew I was a Shoshanna, and now it’s been officially verified. So take THAT! Speaking of procrastination, the hell are you even doing right now? Its 8:30 on a Friday night and you’re reading the November Project blog? You #earnedyourweekend. I saw you do it. Didn’t you join NP to make friends? What, you can’t figure out sequined spandex what tights to wear to Bootie tonight? Just go with the sluttier ones. You’ll still going to look like a virgin next to Weston. read more

NEWS IN BRIEF – Wildlife – Fitness – Serbia – Feb 19, 2014

At half past 6am this morning, a sizable crowd gathered to view a sight few native Californians have witnessed – a live Snowy Bojan in San Francisco. The predominantly hairless creature is more frequently spotted in cooler climates, such as Boston and Serbia, but was seen today apathetically rolling in the grass prompting fitness enthusiasts to stop and take notice. read more

A classic battle unfolded at dusk this morning as 110 migratory yahoos touched down on the lush and fertile plains of Alamo Square. Two groups of 55 faced off — East Coast versus West Coast. The difference? A Mississippi delta. Stella watched anxiously from the sidelines…

At last, the groups settled their differences and paired up for a series of partner exercises, including the ever-awkward ‘back-to-back partner squats,’ which quickly and predictably devolved into ‘partner butt bumps.’ I believe that’s third base? I don’t know much about basketball… read more

Is that my alarm? Is it time to wake up? Could I pull off a 15 minutes snooze? Should I wear the short shorts or the shorter shorts? Do I have time for a beer? Did I remember my keys? Should I take Pacific or Clay? Can I really hear Sam Livermore from the Financial District? Am I pulling off this hat? Did McCloskey say Gough and Sacramento or Gough and Washington? Is this hill ever going to end? Is there a man sleeping in that pile of trash? Is that the Tribe? Are the numbers down? Where is everyone? Is it Friday? Is it 6:30 am? Did we choose a bad location? Was the tribe still sore from Huffman’s? Did people finally get sick of looking at my white upper man thigh? Is it possible that people don’t actually like getting up at 6:30am to run hills? Where is Laura? Am I going to have to lead this workout alone? Have I seen that girl on Tinder? Is it time to start the workout? Have I been practicing my leadership voice enough? Should I lead everyone up the stairs? Would Kenny Wong and Josh Zipin ever want to, you know, like, hang out, maybe grab a beer sometime? Should I lead the tribe to the center of the park? Do I hear voices? IS THAT F*&$ING FITMOB? Wait, do I know those people? Is THAT where the rest of the tribe was? Do I hear WHAM!? Is that Laura? Are there more than 60 of us now? Is Bill Wheeler wearing shorter shorts than me? Are we going to piss off that boxing club? Does Andy Cochrane ever get tired? How many laps is that? Did I start my watch? Should I yell FIRE DRILL? Did anyone hear me just yell fire drill? Has it been 25 minutes yet? Should we start the finisher tunnel? Should I run through the finisher tunnel? Is it weird if I ask Bill where he got his shorts? Should we take a picture now? Will the newbies come back to us? Do I really have to go to work now? Is November Project the best part of my day? Yes. read more

Somewhere just beyond the crest of North China Hill, there’s a magical little place where Rebecca Daniels takes unsuspecting – erm – “gentleman acquaintances” for hour long sunset make-out sessions. She thought she was the only one who knew about it… she was wrong. At 6:30am sharp, NPSF set out due west from Vallejo and Powell St. for a hill / stair session that produced just as much sweat, heavy breathing, and tears as making out with Rebecca Daniels. Wow, three sentences Clayton? That’s how long it takes you to get extremely inappropriate? Come on… read more