As is traditional ’round these parts, we took part in the annual December 21st urban backpacking festival. And I think, as is traditional, the best way to describe what took place is as follows:
‘Twas the morning of the 21st, when all through the city
About 50-odd creatures were stirring as they prepped to get fit-y;
Their backpacks were donned on their backs, by their hair,
And they hoped they’d soon get to take those off of there;
Most folks were still nestled all snug in their beds;
While these crazy-ass people put Yaktrax on their Keds;
Seven Layer in her seven layers, Patrick in his Russian cap,
Had just #justshowup-ed for the workout on tap,
When on the icy steps there arose such a clatter,
It was our traverballer, Emily, slipping, falling, then… Splatter!
But she came right on over, unscathed, unabashed.
“I’m #weatherproof,” she said, “And I workout for no cash!”
“Well shit,” I replied, “Guess you already know…
…We ain’t neva charge nothin’, n that is fa-sho!”
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a half lit Dise-Dizzle, still buzzing from beer,
And though he always #justshowup-s, and though he’s quite quick,
I can never remember that one hooded dude’s name, Oh Yeah, Nick!
Then I came across Bobby, not the OG, but (almost) same name,
He’d just messed-his-self-uuupppp, hip dysfunction’s to blame.
“F***, Damnit! Sh** Darnit! Hell’s Bells! …That’ll take fixin’!”
“I’m blaming this sh** on my sweet, lovely vixen!”
-“To the top of the Monument! Let’s go sit against walls!”-
“No, no, no, Tank. No. That’s not the workout at all!”
As Frank went on rambling, and as Bobby limped by,
I overheard Kim Gray whisper, “Oh man, what a guy”;
So up my confidence went (with a silent “Hooray”),
Until realizing the “guy” wasn’t me. It was code for Jon’s boo-tay—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard the voice of an angel, er, goof
I knew it had to be Stew, the opposite of aloof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the north stairs came Blake, like a deer as he bound.
He was dressed all in a speedsuit, from his head to his foot,
And his teeth were intact, ’til to Anne he hollered, “Hey toots!”;
Actually, that last part I completely take back,
It was Andy with the Gloves who hollered at the monkey on his back.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His Faygos were shaken, not stirred, his barren legs like a cherry!
Now this ain’t Andy no more, but Joe[y],
All were still astonished he’d dress like that in the snow[y];
And how does he do it without chattering teeth?,
And why did his walking planks feature Frank underneath?
Well we decided to ask Sarah, who was decked out in PellePelle,
(She’ll read this and be all,”Friend, that’s just [with a weird accent –>] silly.”)
Then there was Jaden, all hurrying around like an elf,
And I laughed when I saw him take a picture of myself;
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon shifted my focus towards Kara instead.
Then, they spoke just a few words, and went straight to their work,
It was the Brothers Kamwendo I was seeing, standing there next to Kurt,
And wouldncha know it, today plenty others arose,
We saw Emily, Jack, Beth, Dustin, Kara, and Michael’s cold nose;
Chasing them up the steps just ‘fore I blew the whistle,
I spied K-Gergs, Brad, Grant, then Abdul, Nick, Maddie, and Dave flying in like a missile!
But I heard all exclaim as we woke up the light—
“GOOD MORNING to all, and to all a F*** YEAH!”
Workout:
E shaped workout from the north to the east to the south.
Bear crawl up any stairs, lunge across any platforms, walking planks in front of any gold doors, incline pushups when passing any planters, and sprint between spots!
Notes:
- Thank you Jaden for all you do for us as our photographer and right hand man!
- Keep Summit prep in mind as we approach it in June.
- We’ll be doing the 10k pushup challenge with our sista city, so lookout for further info as we divvy up teams and such.
- Friday’s workout will be a running and “caroling” workout. We’ll meet at the north side of the Soldiers and Sailors Monument, on the Circle. Pack light as there will be no one around to keep an eye on things.
- Shaw will be steering this ship solo for next week’s workouts; treat him like a captain on a non-mutinous ship.
Have a wonderful holiday season!
-Casey
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