Runners in a Dangerous Nighttime

As much as we like to tout #WEATHERPROOF here at November Project HQ, the simple fact is that we humans cannot escape our natural physiological response to outside stress. We scurry for cover(s) as darkness spills over us like a ravenous, massive, flying bear* has blotting out the sun. We spike our alarm clocks into the carpet when they shriek at us at an offensive hour. We cower under North Face fortifications in a desperate attempt to defent against the siege of bitter winds. We choose flight over fight, as evidenced by a not-insubstantial drop in numbers during “cooler” months.

WISCONSIN NOTES

  • Do you like running? I hope – nay, I KNOW – you like running. Which is good because we’re going to be running when it gets lighter out. #sunrise6k
  • Calling all professional and amateur photographers: OUR PHOTOS SUCK! Get at us if you have a decent camera and want to help us step up our photo game. Seriously, someone check these photos.

I’m not here to judge; the majority of my workouts this time of year are later in the day, after all.

Besides, running in the dark is hard! Eyes and noses drip like leaky faucets, ungloved fingers quickly descend into paralysis, head- and flashlights often fail to fully illuminate the path. This is exacerbated by concrete stairs that are much harder than flesh and bone.

Cold and dark are the two biggest excuses people give for not showing up to the workout. But I have a way to ignite the light, and let it shine:

  1. Set your alarm at your regularly-scheduled Wednesday time, complete with the 36-minute snooze buffer.
  2. Get up. Get out of bed.
  3. Stand up and stoop over slightly, letting your head and arms dangle.
  4. Wiggle slowly at the shoulders, letting your arms wiggle freely. Whisper once, “Mushpot.”
  5. Continue to wiggle at the shoulders. Loll your head and whisper a little louder, “Mushpot.”
  6. A little louder say, “Mushy mushy mushpot.”
  7. Repeat steps 4-6, a little louder and more emphatic each time.
  8. Build to a crescendo, including actual bouncing, with flailing limbs and head
  9. Abruptly scream “STOP!” at the top of your lungs.
  10. Find your nearest pet/mirror/roommate/partner. Give them your best murder-eye face and whisper, “Good morning.”

Now try not to ATTACK your day following a routine like that. YOU CANNOT. I guarantee that you will be beyond psyched for your morning, every single time. Mushpot never not works for me. In fact, I was in a rather dour mood this morning, which flipped completely following our bounce. And I fully expect to see more of you with giant smiles on your faces beginning next Wednesday.

 

*Please someone understand this reference.

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