I do not believe that everything happens for a reason, but I do see that as a result of the opportunity I had to lead November Project Chicago for nearly three years, my life looks a lot different now than it would have otherwise. I’ve learned and grown a lot, met some incredible people, and I am forever grateful as a result. I’m excited for what comes next.
I’ve had almost a week to reflect and while I still have the chance to, I want to take this time with my final act to thank some important people and to share some lessons that I’ve learned along the way. First and foremost, to Chris Clark for being a great mentor, Kaitlyn Kooyers for saying yes to leading with me, and lastly Kelly Johnson and Kylin Decker for taking on the torch to set NPCHI up for a brighter future. For our last workout leading together, you threw me a retirement party that I will never forget.
“The question is… is it fitness or fun first? Which is second? Because we know safety is third.” This was THE first question Kaitlyn and I tackled together as a team—secretly–as we were preparing to be the next two co-leads. November Project gave me so much that when asked to lead this group there wasn’t much hesitation to saying yes. Fuck yes! I saw this as an opportunity to give back, to try to foster the environment that made me feel so welcome, that made me want to keep coming back. I remember showing up and quickly realizing that most of the people who were there seemed to already be close friends—would I fit in? I did, and it changed my life for the better. I wanted to make this be the same experience for everyone new who showed up to their first November Project workout. This was an impossible goal, but something I always strived for.
I personally struggled at times. Honestly, a lot. But the difference I hope to have made in people’s lives was worth it. I quickly learned that as a leader you must wear multiple hats simultaneously. Juggling between being a community leader, a friend, a partner, and a social justice advocate. Inevitably, you’re going to fuck up more than once at any one of these. I did so more often than I’d like to admit, and the reality is that what you do wearing one hat will affect the others. A good leader never considers themselves to be a good leader, but there is the expectation to get things right more often than not. And when you make a mistake, you learn from it, grow, and move forward. You will be your harshest critic. You will also deserve criticism at times. Keep taking care of yourself.
Leading through the pandemic months was the toughest challenge. The November Project we knew, centered around hugs and togetherness, all came to sudden pause. Zoom workouts and miles of separation were not the workouts we all took for granted. However, I am so damn proud of us here in Chicago and elsewhere staying together throughout. The consistency of never missing a Wednesday or Friday in some capacity is a testament to everyone who logged in, went to a park for small groups, or joined us for Zoom coffee because without you, this thing could have easily fallen apart.
My in-person retirement speech last Friday conveyed a message centered around taking ownership of our local NP community. We pride ourselves as being grassroots. However, in my opinion, the pandemic changed some of that dynamic. It felt at times that co-leaders took on more to keep everyone engaged, including monthly challenges, publishing a weekly newsletter, and Covid-safe socials. That’s not to say it was only us—far from it—but with most conventional ways to gather not an option, I felt there was a shift to a more “top-down” approach—could the newsletter be written by members? Can more folx become involved in event planning?
While I don’t support all-nighters, I learned that if you have a great idea, make it happen, and budget yourself enough time (and perhaps some help) to prepare. There are four themed workouts that distinctly stand out: chutes & ladders, pizza party, Office Space, and Indy 500. Don’t get me wrong, the end result were four (err.. six, because we recycled two of them for a second time) unforgettable workouts. Folx running in their cardboard “cars” for the burnout was well-worth the cuts and blisters from cutting cardboard. Same goes for the pizza toppings, though that workout would have been unbeatable it if those pizzas were hot and edible! Chutes and ladders stretched the imagination. Creating a jump to conclusion mat for the Office Space themed workout brought me laughter as it progressed. Sometimes, you just have an idea that requires a little more work. I hope members who have these ideas know they have the support to make their workouts happen.
Regarding the top-down leadership, I have to accept my role in this dynamic shift. I see increased member involvement as a need, but by holding a leadership title, can I really be the one to help implement this? Perhaps I can do more for NP Chi by stepping down, which has been a thought of mine for months. Leadership in November Project could be rebranded to steering-ship, because members are the engine that moves us. Guest-leading workouts, demonstrating exercises within workouts, guest-leading a bounce, organizing meet ups, socials, trail runs, long runs, picnics… More of these, please, as I strongly believe this will return our community to being more member-driven. November Project is at its best when there is more ownership by its members.
We use the phrase “just show up” but we learned that this isn’t true, that in predominantly white spaces, people of color or marginalized identities might not feel welcome. Personally, there were a couple of lessons learned in 2020 that really resounded with me as I assessed my role as a leader: 1) if you’re leading a fitness community in a diverse urban setting and your attendees are mostly white, then you are part of the problem, and 2) some of the most harmful acts of racism are subtle, including racial biases. We recognize that attending November Project workouts is a privilege. Taking up reading and learning are a good start, but applying that knowledge is what’s going to help make #freefitness truly more accessible for all and make our own space more welcoming. On top of that, I question at times some of our traditions that “make NP, NP.” It’s a fine balance between fun & silly with being “the whitest sh*t ever” that could make people of color feel out of place. —turkey burpees, anyone? The overly-silly bounces? Even just having the awareness that our cultural roots are centered in whiteness is a good starting point. But let’s build on that.
Let’s build on that by supporting fitness communities of color in a respectful way. Showing up to one workout in a predominantly Black neighborhood only once in a year without investing any resources to the neighborhood is harmful rather than supportive. We also have to check our racial biases—who are we introducing ourselves to? Who are we hanging out with outside of workouts? People who look like us? If we truly want to be considered “most welcoming,” we have to recognize the truth to this, as well as answer why we felt that it was okay to host workouts for months in Chinatown, but not in Bronzeville.
I wish by now we had more diversity in leadership. By stepping down when I did, I realized this would not come into fruition. Representation absolutely matters. It would be a meaningful step to have diversity at decision-making levels. But for the aforementioned reasons, diversity alone won’t solve the deep-rooted issues if members, myself included, are not committed to supporting the effort to make NP more accessible and equitable for marginalized identities. We have a lot of unfinished work in this regards.
It’s been a privilege, an honor, and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to lead this group. I cannot express how much fun it has been, how much joy I get from helping create a space in which people come together from different backgrounds and see friendships develop. To acknowledge and celebrate positivity. To watch the evolution of someone quietly show up for the first time, to then become an outspoken leader of the group who invites others to workouts is special. To come together as a community during a time of grief. To see someone achieve fitness goals they didn’t know were possible, largely from meeting like-minded friends with similar goals, and to see them train together on evenings and weekends is a story many of us share. Oftentimes, joining November Project is someone’s gateway to their fitness dreams and finding their community. What we have here is really special, and again, it’s the members that make it that. You make a difference.
The time and energy I’ve put towards co-leading I’m going to direct more towards personal goals and needs. Recently, I was in Boston cheering on the marathon, reminding me of a goal I placed on hold for three years because putting time into NP had been more important than training. I promised myself the next time I come back to Boston, it will be to run, not cheer. While my goals may not exactly fall under the “once in a lifetime category,” running my fastest marathon, changing careers, and being a better friend & partner deserve more of my attention.
To the back of the bounce I go…
I’M EXCITED!
With love,
Nez
Thank you for sacrificially leading this community these few years. I’m grateful for people like you in this world.