Guacamole is $2.00 extra, is that ok?

Ahhhhhhhhh… it feels good to lead the tribe again. Not that I wasn’t leading a small subset of the baddest asses in the business a couple times a week at 5:30am, but still, I don’t hate looking at 100+ of your faces at 6:30am as the sun rises over Twin Peaks. That said, I may have been a little rusty. After messing up the chalk on the landing and inadvertently creating a new exercise called “partner high-fives” (which presumably is just two people facing each other and vigorously high-fiving/giggling for some period of time), I feel like I’m back up to speed. Incidentally, how many years is science away from inventing a chalk eraser? I feel like Elon Musk must have a secret prototype for that shit in the works. Elon… dude, share the patents. NP needs that shit.

5:30am: #EARLYGANG got down with a stair crushing workout that involved a different exercise on each flight of stairs.

  • Flight 1: Push-ups
  • Flight 2: Leg raises
  • Flight 3: Squat Jumps
  • Flight 4: Burpees

The twist was that you had to use the side steps to go up a flight instead of the middle steps. So between each exercise was a ~200m sprint with a flight of stairs. It was tough shit, but #EARLYGANG handled it like #EARLYGANG handles shit.


6:15am: #TWEENERS gonna tween tween tween tween tween. (Despite the Taylor Swift reference this blog was not written by Paddy)

6:30am: Regular / late / later / afternoon gang gets down with a four-course helping of awesome. Four different color-coded routes with four exercises on each route; some paired, some solo.


A few people took this as an opportunity to find a Valentine’s Day date for this weekend, which means a few people just lost like $300 they will now have to spend on a ridiculously overpriced prix fixe meal from a mediocre restaurant. Seriously, EVERY restaurant in the world thinks it needs a prix fixe Valentine’s Day dinner where the food is exactly the same as any other night but the price tag is 3 times as expensive…

“Hi, Chipotle, how can I help you? … Reservation for two? … Saturday night? … 7pm? … That’ll be $300 and we’ll need a $150 deposit … Excellent, thank you … Guacamole is $2.00 extra, is that ok? … Great, thank you, see you then.”


Ok I have to actually work now. I get in early now for a reason, right? Clayton out. PEACE!

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