Today we are taking a stand against conformity. Today we are refusing to participate in uniformity. Today we are going to be the unique city that we are proud to be.
Last night we received an email* from Corporate asking us to “fix” a few things about the SF tribe. I copied and pasted a few excerpts from the email below that really got under our skin:
“First off guys, you are going a really great job. But there are a few things I think you could change to make everyone a lot happier, and maybe you will start getting more people to come to your workout. Not that numbers are important…but you’re looking a little small these days.
1. Maybe get Clayton to do all the announcements? He seems to be the wittiest, the most American, and the least female of the group. He rarely knows what’s going on, but at least he’s tall enough for the entire group to hear him.
2. Your injury gang is growing larger than your actual running gang. Maybe you guys are doing something wrong here?
3. You are not making the members traveling from other tribes uncomfortable enough. We really want you to hug like you mean it. Full body contact. Maybe a little back rubbing action.
4. Your group photos are weak. This is something we are most concerned about. We need you to have everyone sit up, straight faced, and absolutely no movement or expression on their faces.
Hope this isn’t too much to ask. If you cannot make these changes within the next 24 hours, NPSF will shut down and NP Santa Rosa will be in full effect.”
FUCK THE GROUP PHOTO. AND I AM PRETTY SURE LAURA IS THE LEAST FEMALE OF ALL THE LEADERS.
*This wasn’t a real email
MONDAY: FORT MASON, 6:24 AMShare via socials: