Here at NP Middle Management, we’re tasked with strict enforcement of a certain set of rules. If we don’t enforce the rules, Laura Green or Dan Graham send us a dead fish in the mail. It’s in the by-laws, look it up. So when a certain rule, a central tenet of NP, if you will, is broken, it behooves Matthew and I to ensure that order is restored. That central tenet is accountability. To you new kids, we call it “Dropping a verbal”. Verbal droppings. When you drop a verbal, it’s binding and cannot be rescinded within 12 hours of the next workout. There has been a rash of verbal droppings spreading themselves across our tribe like a disease, or baby diarrhea. This lovely composition, brought to you by our resident Scotswoman, Amy Bell, is what comes of verbal droppings.
It snowed last night. It was colder than freezing this morning. My car took roughly 14 minutes to defrost. Woody didn’t manage his morning poop it was that cold. Arctic conditions.
But this was snow bother for the fearless 5.30 crew. We showed up and ran stairs like pfffffttt no big deal. Some even ran shirt-less. Weatherproof and fucking FEARLESS.
Except Rachel Mead.
Rachel just about verballed to everyone last night at NP5280’s birthday party. Literally everyone. Pretty sure there were multiple high fives and pinky promises tossed around. She even convinced usual 6.15er, Freddy, to show up at 5.30 on his day off work. DO YOU KNOW WHAT RACHEL???? Freddy drove his cute ass little donut tire all the way from Brighton to Denver at 4.45 this morning. You were nowhere to be seen.
Young Freddy speaks of Rachel’s embarrassing absence:
“Through Rachel’s numerous attempts to get me to join the 5:30 workout, I finally conceded and verballed. I knew I was going to be on very little sleep, it was going to be frigid, and on top of that I got a flat tire on my way home from the birthday bash last night. But a verbal is a verbal agreement. Even if I had to change my tire in 20 degree weather on the side of I25! I knew what was at stake!
I got up at 4:30, got dressed and gave myself an extra 15 minutes because I was on 3 tires and a very small donut! I slowly made it to the workout, despite the frigid winds and numerous angry drivers. I was driving slower than a dying electric cart at Target!
As we started the bounce, nowhere in sight was Rachel! I began to wonder if she got snowed in because clearly that’s the only reason she wouldn’t #justshowup! Right???”
Rachel blames it on her I-Phone, but we all know she was spooning her stuffed animals in her wolf onesie. Oh and speaking of Rachel. Reliable sources, a.k.a. Rachel, informed us that her boyfriend, Ryan Nagel, also dropped a verbal last night. Not sure where that one ended up this morning. Maybe he got lost. Maybe he was washing his hair. Maybe Rachel convinced him not to go so she didn’t look as bad. Who knows.
