This morning I googled, “rules of tennis,” then “rules of us open.” Click on this.
Did you click it? Did you scroll to the bottom there? If you’re reading this you didn’t. Because it takes like eight minutes just to scroll to the bottom. I get it though, these are the U.S. OPEN RULES. Cause that’s big and important and open and historical and career changing and what not. OH THOSE ARE THE RULES FOR THE SPECTATORS. Awesome. Tennis makes sense to me now. SERVE, BOOM, POINT, SPIKE, MATCH, SET, POINT, GAME.
Did you really click on that link? DID YOU FIND OUT IT’S ACTUALLY GOLF? This shit is confusing.
Okay, re-googling. Found the right sport. Found the right event. Now there are like 187 different articles full of pro tips for going to the U.S. Open. That’s great, cause CLEARLY the U.S. Open is a foreign experience to some of us.
But what if November Project is a totally foreign experience for you? What if this morning was your first November Project? What if you haven’t been to a workout yet? What if your friend just forwarded you this blog in the HOPES that you will finally join him at 6:30 to this weird group that he will not shut the f up about. What if running is new to you and you don’t know what a burpee is? What if you showed up this morning and everyone started whispering and bouncing and you thought, “wait i thought this was a run group?” What if you were that dude in the hat and the earphones just quietly trying to get his burpee sharapova on in the corner?
Don’t waste time googling november project and finding out that it’s some weird band from 7 years ago and show up with your guitar. I’ve googled the right event for you, and put together some tips.
|The big, bad, US OPEN (that’s tennis, folks)||November Project DC
|Take the Shea Stadium train from Penn Station
|IF you MUST take a train to a workout, you better get off at a station where we can’t see you. You’ve got feet, if it’s Friday, use ’em. Pedal, skip, walk, run yourself there.|
|A cab to and from Manhattan? A few of us have done it, but not that many cabs are stationed at the Open. It’s expensive and it takes forever. Forever.||To a MONDAY? we get it. Hills are a workout on their own.
To a WEDNESDAY? Sure, especially if you’re doubling, but there’s bike parking and you risk getting a ticket…
To a FRIDAY? Dream on. Burpee time. (Anyone remember this Friday?)
|Tix are selling record fast this year (so I heard), gotta have one to get in though…||#justshowup|
|Looks like I can find you a seat Saturday night in section 17 for $907 – $1,511!||FOR FREE
(plus we do stuff outside, so if you’re going inside, you’re doing it wrong..)
|WHEN TO GO:|
|I recommend day sessions over night during the first week, and night sessions over day the second if you have to choose — especially if there hasn’t been much rain and the tournament is on schedule.
|I recommend doesn’t fucking matter if it’s raining. November Project is always ON. On point, on schedule, on time. JUST ON.
|But for real, if you’re not independently wealth, looks like whenever you can afford it is when you should go.||But for real,
MONDAY @ 6:29am
WEDNESDAY @ 5:29 and/or 6:29am
FRIDAY @ 6:29 am
(you can always afford it)
|WHAT (not) TO BRING:|
|Backpacks of any kind are absolutely forbidden.
|You can bring bags. Limit it. But I get it, sometimes an athlete just has to pack a towel, a water bottle, their work computer, bfast.. whatever. You do you, but if we ask you to put it all in one place, pls listen. Cause we try to collectively keep an eye on your stuff.
|I don’t know, your love of tennis?||YOUR BOMBASS SELF. Your open mind. Your willingness to let loose, get weird, get sweaty. Your want to push yourself. Your want to get better, get faster, get stronger, get healthier. YOUR BOMBASS SELF.|
|Your willingness to quietly spectate.||YOUR INABILITY TO SPECTATE. NP is not a spectator sport. GET UP, GET GOING, GET MOVING.|
I’d like to be honest and tell you that the left hand of this column is plagiarized. That’s cool, right? From THIS.
If you DID NOT tag on Sunday, you can tag on Monday. It’s a three day weekend. Bring someone who has no “I have to make money at this thing called w-o-r-k excuse.”
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