About Those Hugs: A guest Blog from Max Hoover, PA recipient

Max is always smiling, always working hard, always encouraging others, always everything we love about November Project, a no-brainer candidate to receive the Positivity Award, and a member of the tribe that truly helps make November Project NYC so special. Max, thank you for sharing, we are glad you are here:

Thank you, Mary, Rob and Jason, for the positivity award. It means so much to me. This tribe, the positivity, the hugs, high fives, the cheer, the adventure, the endorphins, sweat, and friendships have gotten me through the toughest time of my life. I want to share what has been going on, so that you know how much I mean it when I say the hugs, the PA and all the rest mean the world to me.

In October, last year my wife told me she wanted a separation. I had no idea this was coming. She and I had made plans to go visit a furniture store at lunchtime. She came by my office, and we started walking together to the store a few short blocks down Madison. Before we got there, she said she wanted to talk, so we stopped and sat on a low wall outside of a church. That’s when she told me. I was in total shock.

We’ve been together for more than seventeen years. We have three kids. I was happy. She was not. I moved out.

We went through many months of couple’s therapy. We put in a lot of hard work. We reconciled, and I moved back in at the end of the year. A few months later, I thought our marriage was over. We reconciled again. We reconciled and broke apart several times. In the end, it didn’t work. We are getting a divorce.

On shame, sadness, anger, hurt, blame, fear, financial uncertainty, loss of home, concern for the kids and more I don’t dwell. I’m dealing with those things. Getting through them.

I’m doing it, thanks to Mary, Rob and Jason for bringing us all together, for being there for us, for making NP NYC happen. For the bounce, the fun facts and the extra spice.

And, thanks to the pats on the back I got when heckling Rob on Wednesday, although the heckling felt more to me like a parishioner’s shouts of “Halleluiah”. I really couldn’t control myself.

Thanks to Mary and Rob’s really awesome speeches when they announced I was getting the PA. What an incredible surprise and rush that was. Thanks to the dozens of congratulatory comments on Facebook and Instagram.

Thanks to all of our photographers, among others, Julia, Janelle, Aubrey, Ben, Brian, Powers, and of course our leaders for freezing countless moments in time for us to revisit and remember fondly forever.

Thanks to Ben for doing an incredible job of introducing me to friends back when I was new.

Thanks to paint crew for tagging my shit.

Thanks to David for affirming at the top of his lungs that this is not, in fact, Sparta.

Thanks to hearing Maggie yell, “Good job Max”. Thanks to Remi for the treats. Thanks to Amanda for encouraging my daughter to finish PR day.  And to Vader for trying to get my son to start.

Thanks to Fred for the gait analysis. To Gaurav for making me move it faster.

Thanks to Dana, Matt and Ian for being on our Wisconsin team.

Thanks to Justin’s great advice on moving on. Thanks to all of the other guest bloggers for giving me the courage to write this.

Thanks to Kevin for mapping out the race path. Thanks to Tammy for giving me the Cheer Squad nod, and getting me in to it.

Thanks to Whitney for beating my ass on the bridge and making me run faster.

Thanks to extended day drinking with Patti and Mayra.

Thanks to the side hug from Madeline. Thanks to all the hugs. All of this and more. I find myself thinking about the Tribe all the time, revisiting memories, anticipating adventures to come, and the happiness it brings me trumps all. It beats any amount of therapy, sets my head right, and I can face life, and make of it what I will.

I feel loved by the Tribe. Am I good? Fuck yeah. Thank you, Tribe.

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