You are always welcome.

I’ve heard one too many times recently about people feeling awkward or weird about showing up to November Project if they haven’t been for a while. I’m certain there’s another group of individuals who have never showed up for this very same reason. They’re afraid of being an outsider, an ~occasionaler,~ not a regular. I, myself, have been through phases of time where I was unable or unwilling to show up, and I know what it feels like to get questioned from my tribespeople as to where I’ve been. I know they don’t mean any harm when they ask, but I understand feeling like you’re letting everybody down by not being there every week. The whole idea of this movement is about ‘just showing up’ – no matter what. The no excuses rule makes you feel like you’re not worthy if you actually have a valid excuse. And trust me when I say there are valid ones (and I don’t care if anybody thinks I’m full of crap or lame by saying this). We’re all only human and we are busy. We have important things we need to do, races we need to alter our workouts for, jobs we need to get enough sleep for, injuries we need to adjust for. Sometimes, an NP workout just doesn’t fit into the routine. But that doesn’t, for one moment, mean that you are not welcome when it is.

For anyone that used to show up a lot, and now feels shy or afraid about coming back, do yourself a favor and get over that fear. It doesn’t matter who you are, how often you come, what clique you’re in, if you show up to any damn workout in any damn city, you are apart of this family, that’s a promise. You can come and go and you can decide you don’t ever want to come back. But if you change your mind, it’s always going to be there for you. And I hope you come back. I hope anybody who’s interested but afraid comes and comes back, because it’s important. It’s important to belong to something bigger than yourself.

I sat around a bar this weekend with some friends and learned that one of my friends has lost both of her parents. As I was sitting there I remembered another one of my friends who was right there had lost his brother, and another friend who was also right there had lost her father. In that moment I remembered that this family, our family that we’ve created is so damn important for all of us, regardless of how often we show up. Some of us do not have biological parents anymore. Some of us have lost siblings, friends, lovers. The reality of this movement is that people will show up, and people will leave. People will show up every single day for a year but maybe one day stop because of something tragic happened, or vice versa. But the core of this group, in every city, with whoever is involved at any given time, will be there. And they will be your family. No matter if you like it or not. No matter if they like you or not. You’re family when you show up. #dealwithit.

You never really know what someone is going through when they show up, so never underestimate the value of a hug. The person on the opposite side of your hug might be over the moon excited to get a hug from you, or they might be dreading it — and either way, we hug just the same and hope for the right outcome. Maybe you’re the person they have a crush on, or maybe they’re just excited because you’re one of the few people not sweaty. Maybe they’re excited because they just went through something horrible and all they want is for somebody, anybody, to put their arms around them and tell them they are happy they are there. They may be afraid that they would start bursting with tears. They may also be afraid because they haven’t taken their morning poop yet and are afraid of farting on you if you squeeze them too hard. Whatever the reason is, never underestimate the value of a hug, and maybe try not to squeeze too hard, unless you like that sorta thing.

If you see someone you don’t know, or haven’t seen in awhile, tell them you’re excited they are there. Don’t judge them, and don’t even bother asking where they’ve been. They’ll tell you if they want you to know. Just ask them how they are and give them the biggest hug you can provide. Let them know they are welcome into this family, it really just takes a smile. And maybe from this, from your genuine warmth, they will show up again because you made them feel welcome. And maybe they won’t. At least you’ll know you did your best to give someone the same experience someone gave to you on your first day, or your first day back.

It’s funny because we always joke that #angelface is dad and Dr. Grace is mom. Liana and LC are two of my ‘sissys’ and Min just became our honorary #unclemin. If you’re wondering about me, I’m the cool older sister in this tribe, because everyone is 17. Okay, 25, whatever, even though I know I’m really Laura Green’s most annoying little sister — #NPSF, Holla! The reality is, Angel is not my dad and I did not come out of Grace’s womb. But they are my family. And they can be yours too. They won’t get mad at you if you can’t show up for a while, but you better believe they’ll be excited when you do. Trust me when I say they’ll always give you the biggest hug, even after you shit your pants through an entire marathon, pre and post ocean wash down. That’s family right there. And it happens. Shit literally happens, to all of us. And the best part about it is that when you’re in this family, you never really have to worry about how bad it will get because no matter which direction you turn, how many days or weeks you haven’t been to a workout, when you finally do come back, there’s always going to be someone ready to catch you when you fall. Don’t be afraid to come back. Or show up in the first place. Or shit your pants. Maybe try to not shit your pants, but if you do I’ll give you a high five and tell you you’re not alone. If it isn’t obvious by now, I shit my pants last weekend during my marathon which is maybe the real reason that inspired me to write this blog. I’m not afraid to admit that because I know my family loves me just the same, maybe even more now. Dad said it gave me more #character. Ok he didn’t say that but I know he’s thinking that. Right Angel?

Don’t be afraid to show up. You are family no matter what. Even if you shit your pants. It’s as simple as that.

<3 T