Where art thou, dear winter? We need thy badge!

There is no worse range of Celsius than -15 to -29. Once you hit -15, your snot kinda freezes anyway and at -29, Jen automatically turns into Mean Jen and ruins young children’s dreams of badgedom. Here is a chart to help explain this shitty zone.

  • -14 “Hey, what a great morning! It’s a dry cold”, says Trent in his shorts.
  • -15 Snot starts to freeze and Trent is in Eskimo sweatpants.
  • -18 Nadim’s IPhone stops working
  • -20 Buffs fully engaged, can’t tell who anyone is, awkwardly have full conversation without knowing who you’re talking too.
  • -23 Snow squeaks louder than a Poison concert. Once you notice it, it bugs the shit out of you for the rest of the Season of Dark.
  • -27 “I swear, my weather app says -30”, lies everyone unconvincingly.
  • -28 We’ve honestly never had a -28 day…not sure what happens here.
  • -29 Kids cry. Tears freeze. Mean Jen evil laughs in their face.
  • -30 Boom! Record attendance, Instagram full of frozen face selfies and Trent is back in shorts! Best Morning Eva!!!

So here’s to at least a few -30+ (or is it – ?) days in our near future and to good humour when we find ourselves in the zone of poo.

See you Friday at Walterdale Hill. Meet at Kinsmen.

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