Announcements:
- On April 18th at 6 pm, November Project Milwaukee will have a workout in Miller Park. I repeat: NOVEMBER PROJECT MILWAUKEE WILL HAVE A FREAKING WORKOUT IN FREAKING MILLER FREAKING PARK. But I’m sure you already knew that. Here’s the sitch: we have a few hundred people signed up. There is a waitlist for the social gathering/networking event/eat as much as you can to load up for Wednesday’s workout afterwards – if you want to get in, SIGN THE F UP RIGHT NOW. We want you there. You want you there.
- No Coast 2017 is right around the corner. Housing sign-up is here. Details will follow. Plan out when you’re going to clean your bathroom if you want to have guests. No one likes hair all over the shower walls.
- This is a no-nonsense take on NP MKE. Featured: Roger’s dance moves (duh), a twin-terview, and a really cool hat.
- Recruitment challenge winner will be announced at the workout Wednesday. Don’t miss it.
Today’s Story Time comes from Jonathon “Determin-educ-ation” Young. You know him by his pom-pom hat with side flaps, his death-inducing-tenacity, and his brother, Young the Younger. Read all the way to the end, or else you’ll miss some amazing stories and life lessons, and we’ll make you do burpees.
“School comes first” has been the motto I’ve lived by for the majority of my life. Outside of any family emergency, I always strived to be at the top of my class at any level of school. I thought, good grades = good job = happier life. I put extreme pressure on myself to succeed, almost at unhealthy levels. In my mind, the harder I worked, the greater the chance of success. I once saw the quote “is work-life balance really the ideal we should strive for, or is that just a way for people to feel better about mediocrity?” I didn’t want to be mediocre. I wanted the best grades, to get the best job, to lead to success so I could provide my future family with all of the opportunities I had received growing up. Sound logic, right? However, the formula to success isn’t that simple, and if it weren’t for November Project, I would have run myself into the ground physically and emotionally. It’s hard to truly put into words what November Project means to me, but this is my story about why I #justshowup.
I started coming to November Project in the summer of 2016 after being recruited by my younger brother Kyran. My first workout was PR day in June 2016. I got 8 laps, was lapped by my brother, but received encouragement from countless other tribe-members I had just met. I thought ok November Project, I got you. I see how this can catch on. It was a personal competition that I didn’t want to lose to my younger brother, but (at the time) he was a November Project regular, and I was trying to work-out while managing a hectic grad school schedule. I’ll train. I’ll keep coming. I’ll get him back, but school comes first.
That summer, I had a number of classes that I wanted to finish before I made regular appearances back at NP. I enjoyed the PR workout, but wasn’t immediately hooked. I need to ace these classes. For me, it was more important to get some sleep after late night studying than come down for a workout with strangers. Nevertheless, I promised Ky that I would return once my summer session of classes was over. My first workout “back” after my one PR day showing: Commerce Hill, led by Hannah & Alice. I’ve never felt more exhausted in a workout. I felt like death and my brother documented the whole thing. Kyran had a triathlon the following day, and instead of doing the workout he was part of the picture-taking deck. He documented the agony well. This was the “fun” activity Ky was talking about every Wednesday and Friday morning.
Initially, I came back for the workouts and to spend more time with my brother. Who knows how long we’ll both be in Milwaukee? I have no idea where I’ll be at the end of my grad school career. This is a good experience, and something that Ky and I can share. I’m a competitive guy, and I truly wanted to beat Ky at PR day. As I kept coming back, there was always someone pushing me to be faster, work harder, another runner to catch. I’m fast, but I’m not the fastest. It’s a point DG has often made, but it’s so true, regardless of speed: The fast
push others to be faster, the “slower” people try to become fast. The fast see the effort of the “slower” people, and want to match that effort. By attending NP, I was becoming stronger and more fit, one workout at a time. For me, NP was initially about the workouts, but a few weeks into showing up, it became so much more…
At every workout, it was nearly impossible NOT meet new people. Not just meet new people…but these people are the good people. Ky introduced me to his friends, and through the small talk and joking around, it was easy to tell…these people are genuinely nice people. When they say, “how’s it going?” they will listen for an answer, and want to lift your spirits if you’re having a bad day, or ride the emotional highs with you on a good day. Through the small talk during the warm-ups, and getting to know others before the workout, I connected with my fellow tribe. This wasn’t any earth-shattering conversation. So many former strangers approached me with a hug, how’s it going? You from Milwaukee? Are you in school or work around here? That’s all it took. Each tribe-mate was so receptive and genuinely wanted to get to know me. Each time I came back I tried to meet a new person, at least one name each Wednesday and Friday. I truly started to connect with the tribe. NP was becoming more than just a workout group, but a group of genuinely nice people. It was awesome. It was simple conversation, but I was making new friends and getting more fit. What could be better? I truly started to love NP, but that love was soon to be tested.
I’m currently a graduate student at Medical College of Wisconsin in a PhD program focusing in Cell Biology, Neurobiology, and Anatomy. When I tell that to people, they most immediately say, “wow, you’re a smart guy.” and my response is always, “thanks, I’m not that smart, but I work really hard.” For me, I put a ton of effort into school. That’s not to say I’m antisocial, don’t enjoy going out, or don’t have a life….but that life revolves around school. Many Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights were spent in the lab, working on experiments, data, writing….working towards that PhD degree.
One of the big steps in a PhD program is passing a qualifying exam at the beginning of the 2nd year. In my program, the qualifying exam consists of writing a long essay, and then an oral examination based on that essay and first year course work. I followed the formula that I used in the past…work really hard and expect success. However, this qualifying exam was different than any of the previous exams I’ve taken. To pass, its not about how much you can memorize, it’s about how you think. To pass the oral exam, it’s about staying calm and collected under pressure. There might not even be a correct answer to some of the questions…but can you propose an idea that at least makes scientific sense?
What does this exam have to do with November Project? Despite my love for NP, I stuck with my motto, school comes first and I was slowly drifting away from something that I had come to love. I no longer was a “regular” at NP. This was a huge test. If I don’t pass, I’m screwed. If you fail twice, you’re out of the program. I need to study and sleep. My mindset truly became once I get through this test, everything will be better. I’ll come back to NP, and I’ll be able to enjoy it. I just got to get through this damn test. I truly missed NP, and I felt guilty not being there. I wasn’t working out. I allowed that test to consume my life. Christine was one of my first and best friends at NP. I missed her first workout as a leader. I became so stressed about the outcome of the test, even my own studying was distracted. I could read for 16+ hours a day, but if you had asked me what I got out of my studies each day, I couldn’t tell you. I was working hard, but just spinning my wheels and no real progress was being made. When test day came, it all unraveled. I got asked a question I didn’t know, and looked like a deer in the headlights. I didn’t show the committee I could think. I didn’t prepare the right way. I worked hard, but wasn’t working the right way. I failed the test and was completely embarrassed by my performance. All of that hard work seemed for nothing.
Numerous tribe-mates had asked about the exam, and I was embarrassed to tell them I failed. However, despite my prolonged absence from NP, it was all of my tribe-mates that picked me up after such an awful experience. I failed the exam on a Tuesday, and returned to NP the following Friday. My return never felt better. I told everyone that asked my results, but everyone was so supportive. Why did I stop coming to this? Christine and Alex greeted me with hugs and a beer. Alex said, “{Referring to the qualifying exam}, I had to take mine a second time too.” Really? I wasn’t alone in this experience? MaryJo said something along the lines of… “Hang in there, my son struggled with a grad school exam too and had to retake. It’ll all be ok.” I told DG I was sorry I was gone the past few weeks and lost sight of what was important. He responded, “no you didn’t, because you’re here.” Why did I leave NP? Why did I quit coming?
If a student fails the qualifying exam, one retake is allowed before the student is removed from the program. Over the next few months, I prepared for the 2nd exam….but this time, I prepared smarter. I kept coming back to NP. I didn’t try to memorize all the pathways which could be associated with the test, but really tried to think about the way different cellular pathways worked. The first round, I was stressed about the exam, stressed about missing NP, and stressed about the outcome. Failing that exam the first round was one of the best experiences that could ever happen to me. By failing, I realized the true purpose and meaning of November Project. In reviewing the outcome with other PhDs and fellow students, to pass this test, all I had to do was stay calm and think. All of this “work” memorizing pathways and speculative theories wasn’t necessary. Stay calm and think. November Project was one of the best ways to start off every Wednesday and Friday….this could help keep me stay calm.
A few weeks before my next exam, Tonieh made sure to help me prepare and make sure I was mentally ready. A few months ago, Tonieh was a total stranger. When she heard about my first exam, she easily could have said, “that sucks, sorry to hear that, good luck on the next one”…but she didn’t. That is November Project. People truly care. People want to help you if you need it (even if you don’t ask for it). People really show up in life. At a post NP coffee meeting, Tonieh gave me meditation advice and ways to clear my head and think positively after such a negative experience. She also gave me the confidence that whatever the outcome, pass or fail, my life was going to be ok. I would be successful, maybe this just isn’t my route. Something will come out of all this work. She said, “walk into that exam room, smile at the examiners, and know you got this.”
On March 22nd, the day of the second exam, I received the positivity award that morning, and I cannot put into words how much that oar meant to me. I was getting so much out of coming to NP, yet along the way I was inspiring others. No matter what happens with that exam later, its gonna be a perfect day. I got the freaking positivity award. I was at such an emotional low in December. To be getting that award a few months later meant the world to me. A couple hours later, I would pass my second attempt at the qualifying exam. Did that day really happen like that? Did everything really fall into place?
I want to be clear ….there are way worse things in life than failing a PhD qualifying exam. I’m fortunate because every day I walk into the hospital to do my research, and I can walk out every night. Others are not that fortunate. Nevertheless, getting through this exam was a big deal to me, and November Project got me through. If I didn’t fail that test, I never would have known how truly amazing the support group is at NP. For me, NP is no longer about the workouts. I know I’m going to be pushed to exhaustion. NP is love. NP is offering a hug to a stranger who could become one of your best friends. NP is relying on others to help you through the highs and lows of life, even if you don’t ask for help. NP is crazy people who push each other and joke around in brutal weather at a God-awful hour. Why? Because we all need it in some way.
What’s the main message I’m trying to get at in this long blog post? Don’t let life get in the way of what’s important. Life will happen day-by-day with incredible highs and tremendous lows, but November Project will always be there. Forever, and across the globe #worldtakeover. Don’t think I just need to get though X and my life will be better (whether X be a bad relationship, death in the family, child in the hospital, qualifying exam). Life will happen and its way better to go through life with a supportive group like NP. In really tough times, even if you truly can’t make every workout, the support will be there from afar. To everyone who has read this far in the blog….keep coming to the workouts, or come for the first time. I want to get to know you. I want to pay it forward like so many tribe-mates that helped me over the past few months. #justshowup. Like DG says, “it could be the best day of your life, you never know.” I love you November Project. Thank you for everything. #thehayisinthebarn
P.S. I have multiple stories about ways that fellow tribe members helped and inspired that I did not mention in this post. Your efforts did not go unnoticed, and know that I’m so appreciative of everything.
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