WANTED: Rogue Gorillas

WANTED

ROGUE BAND OF GORILLAS

Last seen: Wednesday December 10th, 2014 at 6:30am

Where: Kate Sessions Park

Why: Strong and extremely unpredictable. Gorillas may hide in the mist at the foothill and ambush unsuspecting park goers. Reports have come in that the animals were engaged in a battle of brawn which overtook the grounds of the park from 630-730am. Nearby residents report hearing a chaotic chorus of sounds which precipitated the event. Researchers are still trying to determine if the males are battling for dominance hierarchy or female attention, as the mating season for gorillas remains undetermined. They are however, advising residents to maintain their distance from male and female gorillas, as the female gorillas are equally as fast and ferocious when it comes to confrontation.

Anyone with information regarding the whereabouts of any gorilla is requested to call the San Diego Department of Fish and Wildlife. These animals are a rare breed, and researchers are doing their best to conserve the species.

Get your knuckles off the ground tribe – they’ll never take us alive!

Be Happy. Be Strong. Be BRIGHT SD!

PS – DON’T FORGET TO SIGN UP FOR THE TRACKER AND GET YOUR MINI-HUMP SCORES IN TODAY!

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