Leader’s Notes: Gender discrimination is nothing new and has been prevalent in cultures around the globe for centuries. Thankfully, as the human race has grown so too have we grown more accepting and supportive of one another regardless of our race, creed, gender, sexual orientation, or otherwise. However, it is still too often that we are reminded that discrimination and the unacceptable judgments and actions that follow continue to plague us.
It isn’t by accident that November Project became a place where people can go to escape prejudice, discrimination, and profiling. Not only is it an escape from the negative, but empowering and promoting of the positive. November Project’s value system clearly defines the time and space shared within the tribe as being inclusive, supportive, motivating, inspiring, and geared towards the growth of all people who put forth the effort to #justshowup. So, when a member of our tribe at November Project Chicago reached out to us and expressed concern, frustration, anger, and hurt over their experiences both outside of and within the tribe, we knew it was time for a refresher course on how to not only talk the talk, but how to walk the walk. This member has chosen to remain anonymous, but their message should be read as if they are both your best friend and the stranger you just met for the first time. The Tribe is Strong, but we can and will be better.
Tribe,
Last week I ran four times, all of varying distances on my typical Central Park route. On my training schedule, these workouts were fairly standard – nothing out of the ordinary. My times were normal, the weather was decent, and the same consistency of runners and cyclists had taken to the park before sunrise.
On Tuesday, I passed a man who was running in front of me. As runners, we leapfrog each other all the time. We run different paces based on our weekly mileage, nagging injuries, training plans, when we stop for water, how we happen to be feeling, or even just because some of us are inherently faster or slower than others. This time in particular, as I began to overtake the man in front of me, he looked at me, registered that I was passing him, and immediately sped up. I fell behind again, running my own pace, but the male runner quickly slowed down, and I began to gain on him once more. The second time, as I ran by his side, he sped up just enough to match my pace. We ran “together” for a minute or so until he eventually slowed for the second time. I continued my run, and not thirty seconds later, he came sprinting by until he had outrun me by about 20 yards, then returning to a casual pace.
This situation is pretty normal, and I assume most runners have experienced something similar. To bring it up might even seem petty – it was one competitive guy, right? The number of occurrences, though, does not feel normal. In fact, this happened five times in my four runs last week. My second observation is that in each case, I was passing a man. I will not bore you with the other four stories, but here’s the gist: I tried to pass a male runner, the runner registered that I was passing him, the runner sped up to keep me from passing him, and one particular time, I laughed at the utter ridiculousness of the situation, and that runner responded by yelling obscenities at me. Please keep in mind that I passed (and was passed by) many runners, both male and female, without incident on these runs. However, the five who had a difficult time allowing me to pass were all male.
I was further struck by the inherent obviousness of these circumstances. It is not uncommon for runners to increase their speed as they are being passed – whether it is a conscious or subconscious decision, it happens to all of us. However, the five specific situations that I am referring to were incredibly blatant. These runners had been passed by other male runners, and yet, as they turned their heads and sized me up, they did everything in their power to “beat” me. If they were just being competitive, then why just with me? Once I passed by, why could they not let it go?
As athletes, we do not back down from challenges. In fact, we seek them out. We get up before dawn to work out, and we test our bodies with absurd distances. Last week, though, I was not the challenge. I was not the finish line of a race, and I was not someone’s workout buddy. It was not a challenge to keep up with me, to maintain my pace, or to race me up a hill – I was just a woman on a morning run who five individual men refused to lose to.
After the fifth occurrence, I vented to my incredibly patient boyfriend about these egotistical males I had encountered. What I thought would be a simple rant, though, became a much deeper and more concerning reflection on the current state of gender roles and discrimination. Per my feminist boyfriend, since boys are old enough to talk, they have been ridiculed when beaten by girls in any type of athletic situation. Dads have warned their sons not to let girls join their rough play. Boys have made fun of their friends who lose to girls in gym class. TV shows, movies, and pop culture clearly reinforce these stereotypes. Over and over again, males have been fueled by a cultural idea that they are inherently stronger, faster, and generally better than females, and our society considers it embarrassing to “lose” to one. Still, I have always assumed that this school of thought belonged only to a small segment of the population. Those five men who would not let me pass them this week? Of course, they were the minority.
However, in talking to my boyfriend, I have become painfully aware that this is not the case. What inspired me to write this blog post was the shocking realization that some of the kindest, smartest, and most generous people I know also believe that men are inherently more athletic than women, and that this harmful thinking exists within my NP_Chi family. Behind closed doors, or when I am out of earshot, some of you have asked my boyfriend how it feels to date someone who is faster than him. Some of you have proclaimed that you could never date a woman who could beat you in a race. Some of you have asked him how he could possibly take up running when his girlfriend usually did.
I am saddened, I am shocked, and most importantly, I am alarmed. It is 2017, and this is, and has to be, unacceptable. Whether subconsciously established by societal norms or held as a definitive belief, some of you still consider me inferior as a runner and athlete, simply because of my gender. It doesn’t matter if I train harder, if I’m in better shape, or if I’m naturally faster. My story this week did not end with the fifth stranger I encountered on a run. It has ended with you, NP_Chi, and the realization that gender discrimination is everywhere. It has been so normalized, so ingrained in us since we were born, that it even continues to manifest itself in one of the most socially liberal groups I know.
In light of the #metoo campaign, women have been speaking out about the sexual harassment and assault that they experience on an often daily basis. You have probably thought, “I don’t catcall women,” and “I do not judge women for what they look like,“ and “I have never sexually assaulted a woman,” so I am not a part of the problem. I challenge (and invite) you, NP_Chi, to take a deeper look here. Does it bother you if you are beaten by a woman? Are you embarrassed if a NP tribeswoman is more athletic than you? Have you ever let a man pass you during a workout, only to speed up when a woman does? Have you ever made a proclamation that you could not date a strong and fast female, for fear of her beating you in a race?
You may be faster than me, and you may be slower than me, but I will not allow you to be embarrassed because of me. I hope to speak for all women in saying that we are fast, we are fit, we are strong, and we are the shit. We are not a secondary gender but rather a group of powerful and athletic individuals who are more than capable of beating anyone in a race. I challenge you, men and women, to be a part of the change. Give her a high five when she passes you during a workout. Tell her to keep it up when she runs by you in the park. Cheer for her when she beats you in a race. Applaud all of the women in your life, when you are racing them, when you are dating them, when you are being passed on a run by them, and I have faith that you will begin to see them become your equal.
Well said! Thank you!
I could have written this word for word myself. Thank you so much for bringing this issue to light. You do all of us a great service!
Thank you for spreading this message! This happens every time I run on Lakefront Trail!
Oh so many thoughts on this.
This situation is very real. My roommate of 4 years in Boston ran in college and had no problem nailing down a 6 minute mile on a training run. That’s something a lot of guys can’t do. She described this exact situation (pass a guy, he struggles to keep up) happening all the time. But only when she was on her own; if she passed a guy running with me, somehow for that dude it made being passed okay, because that makes sense, right?
When we ran together, we could actually create it. If we saw a guy running alone at about an 8 minute pace, we’d split up. I’d drop back a few yards and she’d go and slowly pass him. It didn’t always work—some guys are comfortable with themselves and just out for a run. But when it did work, she’d let him hang on for a few seconds and then start pushing the pace. Slowly at first, then faster, faster faster until the guy (invariably) fell off and I came sprinting by as we laughed our way in to the sunset (once I caught my breath, she’s speedy). Not so much to be mean, as I’m not sure the guys ever realized it was happening, but more for our entertainment.
So whoever wrote this, if your boyfriend can come close to keeping up with you, y’all should head out to the Lakefront path and try this out. Also, if someone asks him how it feels to date someone faster than him his answer should be (if it isn’t already, and he sounds like a good guy) “it feels fucking amazing, thank you for asking.” Or maybe, if you want to go with snark, “Shalane is taken, so [girlfriend’s name] will have to do.” If I were dating someone faster than me (always taking applications) I’d shout it to the heavens: “Oh, your girlfriend does [xyz]? Well mine drops a [fill in impressive race time here].” You should never be ashamed to say that.
As for the “getting chicked” phrase (which I’ve heard for much longer as “getting girled” but no matter), I’m sort of ambivalent. I think it has a lot of power if used positively, but that guys will lean towards a negative connotation. What I mean by positive, I think, is that I often find myself running in races (smaller races; I ain’t about to drop a 2:30 marathon) at about the same pace as the lead women. If I’m getting girled, I’m doing well. It’s always fun to run with quite often really incredible athletes, and it’s often possible to learn from them. (Here’s a good article about this: http://bit.ly/2hdeWtR) But guys, don’t get it slide in to “don’t get girled.” Run fast, run your race, and if you get passed by a woman, realize she’s probably put a lot more effort in than you. Wear it as a symbol of pride. “Yeah, I got girled, by some excellent runners.”
Case in point: 2011 Birkie (big ski race, hi Emma), I crashed near the start and broke a pole. By the time I found a suitable replacement, the pack was gone, and I was on my own. (Oh and it was -11. F, without windchill.) The elite women started 2 minutes behind the elite men back then (they now start 20 minutes out front) so I was pretty quickly caught by the lead women’s pack. I valiantly tried to hang on to them, but they were too fast and too good (a number of Olympians in the pack) so I got kicked back in to no-man’s-land until the chase women came by. This group I could stay with, and around the halfway point of the race one of them and I put a gap on the rest of the pack and we skied together the rest of the way, drafting and trading off the lead.
Was she a better technical skier than me? Yes. Did she train much harder? Oh, yes. Was I impressed? Quite. Did she help me pass 40 men who had fallen off the pack? Indeed. Did I help her pass one woman on the lake before the finish. Yes. The thing is: it was so much more fun to race with an accomplished woman than with a group of (relatively) mediocre men. We worked together, and my race finish was better because of it.
If I’m in a distance race and in the vicinity of two people, a man and a woman, I’d much rather run with the woman. Not to show that I can beat her, no, but because she is invariably a better athlete, better trained, more likely to set an even pace, and less likely to blow up at mile 24. Am I embarrassed if she musters a better kick and beats me to the finish? Nope. I’m impressed. If I take the sprint, I still know that she’s a far better athlete, and put in a lot more work. And if she drops me, I tip my cap: she more than earned it.
So gentlemen, let’s go for positivity. It shouldn’t be that hard:
Wrong: “how can you date someone who is faster than you, I could never do that.”
Right: “Your girlfriend is faster than you? That’s awesome. I would love to date a strong, accomplished woman, too.” (You should mean that; if you want to date a weak, unaccomplished woman, that’s sad.)
Wrong: “Why bother running since your girlfriend is faster than you are.”
Right: “It’s great that you’re running; your fast-as-fuck girlfriend must be an inspiration.”
Wrong: “Dude, that sucks, you got girled.”
Right: “Wow, you were running only a couple minutes behind [fast lady]? She’s lightning. You must have had a good race.”
TL;DR: if you get passed by a woman on a training run, let it go (Unless, of course, you’re doing intervals and on a recovery, and you wind up passing her on your next interval, or something.); if it’s NP, give her a high-five and tell her she’s awesome. Because she probably is.
What I have yet to see addressed is the racial break down. Assuming the picture at bottom is of chicago, why doesn’t it look like Chicago? Statistically speaking, there should be more African American in the team. I want to be a part of a community that actually looks like my community. If we’re inclusive we are missing people. A community team that is accessible to all members of a community. This isn’t.
Women are harassed and thanks for speaking up so it can be addresssed! Making your story public takes courage. Very admirable.
But who is missing from our groups? If they aren’t there they can’t speak up.
Hello Anonymous,
You bring up an excellent topic of conversation and one in which an active response is deserved. You are absolutely correct that ethnic diversity, in large part, has been lacking in the Chicago tribe (I’ll only speak to my own tribe as it is the only one that I directly impact, and is the focus of your post) since the tribe was founded over three years ago. While this has not persisted due to intention, it is something that the co-leaders of NP_Chi have been aware of and have wanted to address for nearly as long as the tribe has existed. We have been, and continue to be, a community that whole-heartedly welcomes and embraces -all- people. It is our goal for all people who seek an alternative to traditional fitness groups; who seek a place to develop new friendships; who seek a means of empowering others to grow physically, personally, professionally, and every way in between; feel compelled to #justshowup at and participate in all things November Project. So, if we want everyone to come, the question then becomes what are we doing, and/or not doing, that has limited our growth and ethnic diversity?
As for what we haven’t done? The answer is, ‘enough.’ Leadership talks a lot about hosting workouts on the south and west sides of the city (we recently hosted two consecutive Monday workouts at Palmisano Park, and have hosted multiple pop-up workouts on the 606 in Logan Square), but we haven’t figured out how to reach people in those neighborhoods beforehand to invite them. NP has relied almost exclusively on a combination of social media and word of mouth to recruit new members, which means our reach is only 2-3 deviations from ourselves. If the people who come are mostly white, statistics show that they have mostly white friends and followers on social media.
Road block.
What do we do to reach those who don’t see our posts? Who haven’t been invited by a friend? Who didn’t look us up after being cheered on by our impossible to miss cheer section at a race? Do we need to get super grass roots and start going door-to-door to introduce ourselves and talk about NP? (As if we’re not already accused of being cultish!) Is there a vibe within our culture that needs to change to be more inviting and appealing to non-white communities? Is it a matter of simply hosting workouts in inaccessible locations? (I have driven 25+ miles to and from each workout for the last 2.5 years). These are all things that we consider and are actively pursuing answers to.
After reading your comment last night, I spent 3 hours researching African Americans in running, reading articles in Runner’s World, and searching for both national and local black running groups. I sent a request to join BMR Chicago (haven’t gotten a reply yet) and hope to begin running with them soon to help understand and answer the questions that both you and I proposed.
If you’d care to oblige, I personally would really appreciate taking this conversation offline to email, text, phone call, or talk over coffee/beer sometime as I believe I have much to learn and share.
Sincerely,
Chris Clark – November Project Chicago Co-Leader
630-310-0929
chrisco617@gmail.com