Important news on this Monday. The Tribe has spoken. It is official. The majority of the MKE Tribe is normal, average, commonplace, standard, orderly, traditional, routine. But the fringe groups are mighty weird.
Figure 1: Pie chart of tribe responses to the question “How do you open a banana?” The dark blue slice indicates Like a normal person, light blue indicates Like a primate, green indicates I am a banana, orange indicates Bananas are evil, and red indicates Other (please describe in the comments). Yes, I made this pie chart in Matlab.
According to the very official NP MKE Social Page, 38% of the tribe opens a banana “Like a normal person”, 16% of the tribe are bananas (according to the response “I am a banana”), 8% of the tribe thinks “Bananas are evil”, and 3% responded with “Other (please describe in the comments)” to which the description was “Squeeze vigorously from one end until the banana rips out of its peel on the other end. Be prepared.” Hmm…
But a staggering 35% peels a banana “Like a primate”. Think of all of the productive things we could do with our time if we weren’t busy opening them so so incorrectly.
Look at this carnage! What did the poor banana do to you?!
This poll not only speaks to the utter weirdness of our tribe but also the diversity housed within it (yes, I’m making this banana poll a deep topic. Roll with it). Heck, we thought we only had humans and a couple dogs, but apparently we have a few bananas at our workouts every week! We are inclusive, and will welcome you, no matter what type of fruit you are.
Some of us are just generic people, going for our runs according to our plans, but we need those weirdo primate banana-peelers, unconventional as they are, to bring some spice to our lives. And that is exactly why good ol’ adult-recess play-time dance-a-little-bizarrely yell-a-dirty-safe-word NP is here for all of us – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – WE NEED TO TAKE OURSELVES LESS SERIOUSLY.
So peel a banana weirdly today. And be goofy at the workout on Wednesday. We certainly will be.
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