Guest Blog – Showing Up x Infinity (DEN)

DENVER NOTES:

• 530 completely understood the workout.  615 did not.  It’s fine.
• The bounce began in French, only Einstein understood.  We’re working on it.
• Capture the flag, deck style.  Do an exercise, run up the hill, over, down, take the corresponding # of cards back to your home deck.  Repeat.
• Team with the most cards wins?  Because then you have to go through your deck, traditional style, as a team.
• Pushups, hill sprints, burpees, star jumps (or what I think were star jumps).
• We still own the highest dog to human ratio in the NP-verse!  Barney, I’m sorry I yelled at you this morning.

Today’s guest blogger really needs no intro.  She’s been around for a couple years now and has no plans of slowing down.  Gabby gives us a sliver of her story and gives us a tasty morsel of what it means to #justshowup, to the workouts and to life.

 

Remember in school when you thought you were asking a dumb question, BUT really everyone had the same question? Well, I’m going to tell you a little bit about my ever growing relationship with November Project in hopes that some of it resonates with you.

There have only been a few important times in my life that I have been so far out of my comfort zone that I wasn’t sure which way was up and which way was down. Most recently, I lived in this space when I moved home after college and stayed for a year and a half.

Away from the comfort of friends and familiar places in Denver, I learned a lot about myself (seriously, we hung out ALL THE TIME) Every night I set a place at the table for my insecurities; mainly the ones concerned about me living at home without any clear deadline or direction, except the one pointing West.

When I finally moved back to Denver, I mustered up enough confidence to start laying the ground work for the life I wanted to live, primarily consisting of doing things that made me happy. It was a short list; anything outside, running, yoga and live music.

Me, Myself and I had a pretty solid run for about 6 months before I made the connection between the comfortable routine I had developed outside of my day job and how isolated I felt. So I tried to figure out what was missing by getting uncomfortable again, but on my own terms this time.

Act 1- Let’s Get Physical

Curiosity may have brought me to November Project in 2015, but it was the collective infectious energy at 6:15 AM that kept me coming back. As an unapologetic morning person, I wasn’t uncomfortable yet. The 45 minute workouts were in my wheelhouse, so I showed up, I sweat and I left.

The funny (read: stagnating) thing about insecurities is that they manifest as limits to mitigate the risk of failing. At the end of the day, “I can’t” and “I don’t like to” are a lot easier to sit with than “I’m afraid to”.

I run…

but not in the cold, rain or after work.

but not without music.

but not hills.

but I don’t race.

I like the tangible and the literal (unless you engage me in a hypothetical story and I will run with it) so for me seeing/feeling/experiencing is how I change my perspective. After a few months of subconscious observations, I realized I had the tools to start pushing the limits and change the narrative of my physical abilities. I saw the power of accountability and how it brought people of all different abilities together.  I knew people would show up to the first rainy workout I decided not to skip, even if they sat in bed for 7 minutes questioning everything before their second alarm went off. I witnessed and felt small sparks of encouragement with every high five, “fuck yeah” and “I’m glad you’re here”. I felt my quads fire and my self doubt crumble when I ran stairs for the first time in my life- and lived.

These tools also came in the form of Dan, Julia and Robyn’s blog posts, never mind that I was running a tiny fraction of their distances in twice their personal best times. It was their frankness about training plans, thoughts about running, the world around them and where they fit into it that made it relatable. And in the the subtle form of friends signing up for their first 5k, half marathon, full marathon and well, I could go on for a while. All around me people were chasing goals I never let myself dream of setting.

The change was slow, but consistent with enough positive reinforcement to keep my insecurities at bay. It wasn’t long before Troy’s Hills became a part of my weekly routine or long before I found myself on top of Bergen Peak, spiraling into a love affair with trail running, just because Aviva had said “yeah, of course you can do it!”

Within a year, it clicked that I was a part of something big and not just observing something big. November Project helped me break through my self imposed limits and rebuild the world around me with endless possibilities.

 

Act 2– Get it together. Make it nice.

For 7 years I never thought of myself as a serious runner (eye roll) so I never considered giving my body the attention or rest it needed beyond a week. That year long hamstring pain just nagged, but never yelled. Until one swift lightening bolt of pain brought me to a halt…for five months. In my mind there was never a question of if I would continue to show up to the workouts, but what it would look like when I did. At first all I could manage was to bike, bounce on one foot and focus on those #summerabs. Maybe I was over compensating for what I couldn’t do and maybe I realized I had a lot more to give.

Like the unsuspecting, but ever present goose poop at Civic Center Park, acts of kindness and compassion are woven into this tribe. They are as small as breaking out from a group of friends to say hi to the newbie and get their story because you remember what it felt like when someone reached out to you. As big as raising money for our NP-Nola tribe after a devastating hurricane, for Mo-vember and for a new camera for our resident photographer. As heartfelt as a surprise Dad-chelor party, baked goods just because, and quickly assembled groups of movers.

This is how I came to understand the limitless definition of showing up. It’s not conditional, there aren’t caveats and it’s different for everyone. What I had probably known for a while. but became apparent during this time was that I continued to show up for the other 1,035 minutes of my day (1,440- (an average 6 hrs of sleep + 45 minutes of NP))  and for the people outside of November Project, but very much a part of my life.

If you haven’t yet, get familiar with the November Project Denver social page, it’s inspiring. Get familiar with yourself and the interactions you have with the people around you. I don’t think I’m alone in being hesitant to ask for help, so be open to these interactions because a need or a void can often be filled organically, if you let it.

Back in 2015, when I first moved back to Colorado, I wasn’t so much in search of the life I wanted to live, but more so the person I wanted and felt like I could become. I dropped a few names in here, but I have an endless amount of gratitude and thanks for all you. Especially because you stuck with me and made it this far.

 

PEACE

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