Proper form for :
Anaconda – On stomach, side or back. Must undulate body for forward movement, no pulling with arms or pushing with feet. Pros – Great core workout, you get to lie down. Cons – Losing skin to the ground, fighting JLo and Ice Cube
Ostrich – Quickly run on tippy toes, with a slight lean forward without any bobbing of the head. Arms are tucked to the sides with a slight, understated flapping motion. Pros – Super fast, compliments on your creativity to make the workout easy. Cons – Can’t fly, sand up nose, total confusion as to what noise to make
Crab – Classic, belly to the sky, walking on heels and hands, can travel in any direction. Pros – No creativity needed, other than that crab sucks. Cons – oh whoops, already did that
Bonobo – Start in a squat position and then run/hop without leaving the squat. Can use hands on the ground or wave ’em like you just don’t care. Your choice. Pros – Way cooler than just doing a gorilla or monkey. An actual good leg workout. Cons – known to fling poo, might not be able to get out of the squat position making for a series of uncomfortable conversations later in the day at work.
Snail – Done perfectly this morning but now forever banned by Nadim. #MeanNadim
Seximius Seamaximus – Take off shirt. Much like a panther, slowly crawl on fingers and toes while over exaggerating your shoulder blade movement. Stop every 15 seconds to re-flex and look around. Pros – So sexy. Cons – Has only been successfully done by one tribe member, ever.
Wednesday – Old 96er final attempt of 2017. Show up at 528am for early access to Commonwealth. 6am group goes normal as well.
Friday – Hills at Walterdale. (Jen’s gotta to go to work)
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