I write to you today from deep within the bowels of the Chandler Public Library. To my left, at a distance of twenty paces, is a man that looks quite remarkably like Angelo from NPSD, albeit with more facial hair and less murder eyes. To my right is another whose polo shirt blends impeccably with the crimson wall behind him, a color perfectly suited to conceal any drops of salsa that dare escape the clutches of his Filiburto burrito. The wall features several rooms, the closest of which houses a blonde woman in an eggplant-colored blouse interrogating boy of about six. Her steely expression and his slumped shoulders suggest that he is failing. She closes the beige-framed door, perhaps due to the fact that I’ve been glancing up at them every few minutes.
The silence is broken by two small boys upset with their mother’s snack choice: Chips Ahoy! minis, or more likely the water that accompanies them. Even as toddlers, they understand milk is the only acceptable partner. She brokers peace via an Avengers hardcover picture book, and the three of them walk away quietly. They’re replaced by a mother of six: three children, three cups of ice cream (chocolate, blue cotton candy, vanilla with chocolate chips). All of this food is making me hungry; or, far more likely, I’m noticing all of this food because I’m hungry.
Wisconsin Notes
- Congratulations to Scottie (29 flights) and Fast Annie (24), August’s PR Champs!
- JOSHUA TREE: We will be meeting up with NP San Diego and Los Angeles outside of Joshua Tree on September 16-17. More info here, and make sure you RSVP and fill out this spreadsheet so we can plan accordingly.
- #NPlovesAZ: You have until tomorrow to get into those local breweries and post to social media! Remember to drop the hashtag so we can find you.
- September is #NPgivesback month. We’re planning to help out local charities, and we want your help! Details to come.
We (I?) got off to a rocky start this morning. The bounce was an immense hit as it pre-played over and over it in my head, and I felt strongly that it would propel NP Phoenix to international stardom (spoiler: it didn’t. We’ll work on it some more next time). But you quickly recovered and crushed the stairs, as the Jersey’s Finest playlist* rocked the house. I truly longed for a breakfast of Butte Loops, but had a nagging feeling that it would have resulted in personal tragedy. Instead, I consigned myself to photographer duties, though Lisa (an actual, real-world photographer) dashed my dreams of AP stardom when she informed me that I looked “super awkward.” Regardless, we were all champions today: I still managed to capture as many faces of anguish as I could, and, despite the pain, you all persevered.
That boy finally emerged from his temporary prison, his face matching his shoulders as he trudged out. I hear running stairs can help with that.
*I try to theme every one of my playlists. Some are more overt than others. Every song from today’s playlist came from a New Jerseyan.
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