If you were at the workout this morning, I talked about a recent incident that occurred after PR Day this past October where one tribe member messaged another and made some comments that made this person feel uncomfortable. And there were a number of things about this situation that infuriated me. But I’ve already stood on the soapbox this morning.
It simply comes to this – anything that threatens our safe space will not be tolerated.
Know your boundaries. We’ve created a place where we encourage hugging, joke about finding significant others at November Project, and encourage each other to let our guards down in order to step outside of our comfort zones.
But we need to recognize and be sensitive to the fact that not everyone shares the same degree of comfort in physical touch or social interaction. So,
- If you’re overly flirtatious or physical with people. Stop. Step back. Don’t err on the risk that they’ll accept it, err on the side of caution.
- If you’re going to make a sexually charged “compliment” to someone, don’t. This isn’t the place.
- If someone declines a hug, say, “no problem” and deliver a high-five. Don’t force it saying, “no, we hug here.”
Anything that may make anyone feel uncomfortable or unsafe is not tolerated at November Project San Diego – unwelcome comments, unwelcome advances, inappropriate touching.
And though I genuinely believe that every single tribe member acts with the best intentions, we have to realize that intent is irrelevant. We need to learn boundaries and be cognizant of other’s.
We also need to look out for each other. Don’t brush off an incident because it’s November Project.
If someone comes to you with a concern or feels like something is off, listen. Put yourself in his or her shoes. “That’s just how that person is,” is not acceptable. No incident is too small. No incident is insignificant.
And we’re all friends. Call each other out. “Hey girl, that wasn’t cool.” “Hey dude, that made me feel uncomfortable.” We should be able to be have those dialogs in the open, especially in this space.
Protect each other. Support each other. And protect this space we’ve created for each other.
And we, your co-leaders are your champions. We are the people you can ALWAYS talk to, lean on, and approach when you don’t know what to do or where to go.
If you see something happening, if you’ve experienced anything personally, or if you’re not sure, please come to us. It is part of our role and responsibility to protect you and this space. And we are available to you always if you need support.
In building this incredible community, I feel that we may have grown complacent. And in that complacency, I’ve seen individuals test boundaries and put others in uncomfortable situations.
But over these past 4 years, we’ve brought nothing but positivity to each other and this city. In that tradition, let’s protect this safe space we’ve created. Let’s protect each other by reminding everyone that there are boundaries we need to respect. And let’s keep ourselves in check as we build relationships, meet rad new people, and invite others to this community.
This tribe is strong. Stay strong, San Diego. Be bright.
Thanks for listening,
Eugene, Angelo, and Ashleigh
