Happy Pride Month! Today we’re celebrating with one of our Co-leaders in NP Winnipeg. Danny (they/them) brings compassion and vulnerability to their community and shares how their queer journey runs tandem with their time as a Co-leader.
What words do you use to describe your full identity/all your identities?
Danny the Demidude, demimale, demiboy, non-binary, they/them causing mayhem.
Who are some of the LGBTQIA2S+ athletes in the world of running/sport that you look up to?
I look up to my fellow queer NP Co-leaders. They inspire me in how they show up for their communities and in the world with utter authenticity, courage and weirdness. I am blessed to know them and call them my friends.
When did you first #JustShowUp to NP? How did you come across NP? What is it that you were looking for in a fitness group? How did NP provide that? What was an “extra” that NP has that you found value in?
I first showed up to NP Winnipeg on May 29, 2019 (the day Willie Mac was announced as co-leader!). The first time I heard about NP was a couple years earlier, when I was in the change room at Modo Yoga Winnipeg. It was there that then Co-leader Rick Duha told me about NP. For whatever reason, it wasn’t the right time in life for me to start attending. Reflecting on it now, I find it special that I first heard of NP, one of my fitness loves, in the context of my other fitness love (yoga). I was eventually compelled to give NP a go when my good friend Sarah invited me to join her. We were living on the same street at the time, and she offered to give me a ride. It was friendship that provided the impetus to first #JustShowUp, and it is friendship that motivates me to continue to do so.
What apprehensions did you have as you considered coming for the first time? What was your first impression? Why did you keep showing up?
I’m a pretty huggy and affectionate person, yet even I struggled with the notion of giving total strangers hugs. I quickly found the quirky, fun-loving vibes endearing. I encountered some incredibly kind, good-natured, hilarious and intelligent people, and it was all of this that contributed to my coming back week after week.
What does it mean to you to be a LGBTQIA2S+ Co-leader? What does it mean to your community? What does it mean to our global community?
To be a non-binary person is to live in a world that, at best, continues to awkwardly learn how to make space for you, and at worst, doesn’t want you to have a place to begin with. With this comes incredible insecurity, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, you name it. It was at November Project that I first tried on the pronouns they/them to see if they worked for me. And it was later, again through NP, that I found belonging and safety and encouragement to drop he/him altogether.
I continue to learn to love and celebrate my incredible softness, gentleness and sensitivity. These are qualities that are rarely, if ever, celebrated in masc-presenting people. I am nearly 6 foot 2 and well over 250 pounds, yet it is not my size and strength that I want to be known for. Rather, it is my compassion, my lack of judgment, my incredible openness and my heart-forwardness that I want people to remember me by. These are the qualities that make me who I am, and these are the qualities that I believe people value in my leadership.
How does being LGBTQIA2S+ influence your leadership? What was it like to be LGBTQIA2S+ in your community before you stepped into leadership?
It’s interesting that my coming out as non-binary was right around the same time as my stepping into leadership. Over the past 1.5 years, I have walked these two journeys in tandem. As I have stepped and stumbled into my non-binaryness, so too have I clumsily grown in my confidence as a Co-leader. Some days I possess immense self-assuredness, and then other mornings I flounder with too much “in my own head” insecurity. But I think my fellow members and friends cherish these dualities in me, because they make me accessible, unassuming and comfortable to be around. In other words, they are what make me beautifully and imperfectly human.
Do you remember the first time you saw someone who identified the same as you in leadership (at November Project or anywhere else)? What was that feeling like?
I believe I am the first AMAB non-binary co-leader. I’m excited and hopeful that I will not be the last.
Did you have any apprehensions to lead this group? Did you experience imposter syndrome when you were asked to lead? What advice would you give to another LGBTQIA2S+ person who is nervous about leading a group (at November Project or anywhere else) or coming to November Project?
I often come back to one of my favourite quotes, said by one of my favourite characters, in one of my favourite TV shows of all-time: “While it is always best to believe in one’s self, a little help from others can be a great blessing.” ~ Uncle Iroh, from “Avatar: The Last Airbender.”
When we find our communities of safety and belonging, it is our loved ones who reflect back the truth of who we are when we can’t quite remember on our own. NP has done this for me, and I will always be thankful for that.
How do you celebrate Pride Month? How can others celebrate you or celebrate with you this month? How can we celebrate you all year long?
This year, I celebrated at the Winnipeg Pride Parade by wearing a one-of-a-kind shirt dress made out of a bed sheet with dinosaurs on the print. This was lovingly crafted by my talented partner, who has been my biggest support and encouragement in my queerness.
I am celebrating Pride Month by appreciating queer art (whether TV, movies, music, poetry or the like) and by showing support for local queer organizations and charities that are doing incredible decolonizing and peacebuilding work.
What else do you want people reading this to know?
Don’t assume a person’s pronouns. And when someone tells you what theirs are, make every effort to honour that person by using them correctly. Author and academic Lee Airton wrote that we have two opportunities to get it right. The first is before we speak. The second is after we’ve misgendered someone. When you do so, take responsibility for it. Correct yourself. Then move on.
