Body-positivity is a battle, no matter who you are or what you look like. The advantage of belonging to a community like November Project is that we fight our battles together. Among those fighters is Abby Schulman, an endless source of insight and empathy. Abby is strong; she is constantly challenging herself physically but, more importantly, she pushes us mentally to love who we are and the bodies we live in.
In my couch potato days, I thought that working out would make me feel closer to my body. Less judgmental and critical. Less like my body was a meat suit that I had to haul around for the protection of my brain. And in a way, I was right about that. Becoming a runner has put me way more in touch with myself: I’ve realized that my legs and my knees and my feet are just as much me as my brain. (Toenails are just as me until they fall off, and then they’re just gross.) Working hard has the power to bring me completely to the present. When I hear my breath’s rhythm, see the beautiful reds and golds of the morning’s sunrise, and feel my feet pounding, I’m not caught up in worry or doubt or criticism of what my body does or does not look like.
I wish overcoming issues around body image were just a matter of outrunning them.
Running has certainly helped. But it hasn’t solved it. And I don’t think I’m alone in this. A few weeks ago, Elliott posted this article where an experienced runner bravely wrote about his issues with his weight. Then our very own co-leader Jesse wrote candidly and wonderfully about his journey. And for me? I’m off cardio for a while, due to injury, and it has me dealing with body image worries on the daily.
But during the workout today, I wasn’t thinking about anyone’s bodies. I wasn’t thinking about what someone’s legs looked like, or if they should or should not be wearing sleeves, or if their sprinting face looked silly. What was I thinking while I watched y’all in the midst of those brutal sprints?
“Wow, Bri is so strong.”
“Look at them–waiting at a stop light and still doing squats. Who are these people with this dedication?”
“Maggie is literally trying to murder us with these planks and everyone is crushing it anyway.”
I know that kind of perspective can be hard (read: impossible) to have about ourselves. As athletes, we have such a heightened awareness of our bodies. Instead of making us appreciate ourselves more, it often opens up new avenues for judgement. Self-criticism and self-doubt are old friends of mine, and no matter how fast I get, they can always match my pace.
I worried when I was marathon training (will losing weight help me PR?) and I worry now (will I gain weight if I don’t run for six weeks?). There are so many questions that we runners have about our bodies: about being thinner, leaner, taller, #hashtagwide-r, more muscular, less muscular, blah, blah blah. But at the end of the day, all of these questions have the same answer. You ready for this?
We are all worthy of love and respect, no matter what our size.
It doesn’t matter if we look like models ready to grace the covers of Runners World, if we weigh 500 pounds (or more! or less!), if we have perfect calves (hi Heather), or if we doubt ourselves. It doesn’t matter if we’re strong or not strong, if we’re fast or not fast. And I know this is kind of scandalous to say, but it doesn’t even matter if we run or not. No matter what, we deserve love and dignity. Our goodness does not depend upon the shape or strength of our bodies.
That’s not to say feeling strong isn’t bomb as hell. I love the feeling of getting faster, stronger, of beating yesterday. I just think it’s important for us to remember: our value as people does not depend on our size or our muscles or our marathon pace.
So my advice? Let’s ditch those toxic ideas of what we “should” look like and check out all the awesome body-positive content the world has to offer. Our very own Kelly Roberts is an obvious place to start. Also Virgie Tovar is fucking bomb, as is Jessamyn Stanley. There are tons of people out there doing wonderful, affirming work. But most importantly? Let’s love the hell out of each other and ourselves–not for what we can do or what we look like or whatever. Just for who we are.
Do great, LA.
Thanks, Abs. To put it simply, you are a fucking amazing person. We’re really really REALLY glad you’re here.
NEWS
YEARBOOK PHOTOS
- Wednesday 5/17, 5:27 and 6:27 am
- Griffith Observatory (we’ll be there all month yo! And maybe forever. Maybe? Fingers crossed!!!!!)
- Theme: Punks Without A Cause
- 6:27-ers please get there a couple minutes early for big group photo!
MAY HOMEWORK
- Check the google doc!
- Jesse is locking up the first 5 days so get those DONE SON if you want credit for them!!!!
- Jesse continues to be the middle school gym teacher from my nightmares. 100 bananamans?!?? WTF.
