I must open this soliloquy with a confession, dear reader: I don’t like Christmas music. But Trevor! you’re likely shouting into your computer screen, Your Christmas playlist was without question the halcyon that soothed the raging waters deep within my being! And while I begrudgingly agree that it was quite the opus, I must also admit that my original plan was to only blast the One Good Christmas Song for the entirety of our workout. That’s right: Maria Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You,” nonstop, as both a celebration and an objection to the holiday season. Now, this doesn’t mean that I don’t listen to Christmas music. No, quite the contrary: I have a decent collection of holiday vinyl that fills the house with holiday cheer for the entirety of December¹. But it acts as filler, something on in the background while I go about bringing good tidings to you and your kin. No, I prefer my usual music selection, which consists of mainly Wu-Tang, Childish Gambino, Die Antwoord², 90s boy bands and show tunes³.
Wisconsin Notes
- Have you heard? We’re doing a storytellers event at 5pm this Friday! Park at hole-in-the-rock and plan to run 3-5 miles, with a few stories sprinkled throughout. We will migrate to Coach House in Old Town Scottsdale around 7pm.
- There’s a hike Saturday to hang with Camelback Santa. It kicks off at 7:15am from the Cholla trailhead. Details here. Wear your best/most outrageous leggings.
- There’s a Monday workout happening. MoFo, 6am (location)
However, I am quite the fan of holiday movies. They don’t reach the same highs as horror do, as attested by the fact that my annual Fright Fest has been bleeding into November the past few years; but there are some true classics among the Christmas fare. Movies such as National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Die Hard, The Santa Clause Elf, Home Alone, The Nightmare Before Christmas, A Christmas Story, A Christmas Horror Story… the list just doesn’t stop. But there’s one that stands tall above all others. I won’t ruin it for you, but I will invite you to watch this and then try your damnedest to convince me otherwise. Better yet, don’t; you will merely be shouting into the void, fruitlessly attempting to debate a Universal Truth.
As has become the November Project Phoenix holiday tradition, we came up with <confirms the workout with Jackie*> a 12 Days of Christmas theme for our workout. This year featured some spice: three sets of stairs, in the middle of it all, rather than the traditional single stair at the end. It was also heavy on leg work, so you will better fill out your stockings this season. And it was quite the circuit: nobody finished, or even came close to finishing. In engineering terms, this was an inefficient overdesign on our part, and we promise to reassess and create a better 2018 model.
Trevor
¹Never before Thanksgiving. Ever.
² Admittedly, I enjoy their videos more than their music.
³Shout out to Tracy Turnblad!
*Jackie and I came up with the workout on Sunday evening. I had it written down, but in my obsession with the playlist, I completely forgot exactly what we were doing for the actual, y’know, workout.
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