I think it’s time we talk about comparing ourselves to others. We should just stop it.
With so many people in big goal crushing events over the next few weekends, I can’t think of a better time to talk about this. So let’s just bring it all back and refocus so your mind is in the right place for those events.
If you’re near the end of your training cycle and starting to get nervous about race day, you’re likely so focused on hitting your goal. You’re focused on nailing those last few runs. You’re focused on all the other details about the course, the elevation, the logistics of the race, what you’re going to eat, what time you need to poop, what pace you need to stick to, how many Bieber songs are acceptable on your playlist (all Biebs, all the time), etc.
If you’re not in one of the upcoming events, perhaps you’re close to crushing one of your other goals that you’ve been working towards. Even if you’re not, it is always a good time to refocus your mind.
Let’s be honest. We all do it, but every now and then we need to call it out. Because if we don’t, we start to think that comparing ourselves is ok and that we’re actually supposed to do it. So, here’s the periodic reminder to stop, think, and reign it all in.
I’ve actually been keeping an eye on Jen Ference lately. She seems really happy. She’s always smiling and having such a great time. Her vacation to Montreal looked so awesome. She’s been running some really long distances lately. I’m still running, not quite as far, but I’m going to wait until I beat her at SeaWheeze. Then I’ll have that giant smile and be happy. You see, Jen doesn’t actually know this, but I secretly want to beat her and that’s my goal. I’ve never actually told anyone this before.
While I’m in the mood of telling secrets, I should probably tell you why I want to beat Jen. This is how my life is going to change:
- Well first off, it means I’m faster than Jen. It’s definitely nothing more than me having a better day than Jen. I’m basically forever faster and better than her… at everything.
- Once I’m better than Jen, I can be nice to her again, and I’ll be a good person because I won’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore. Because once I know I’m forever faster, I can stop competing with her because I’ll be the winner of all things.
- People like Jen, so if I’m faster than her, people will also like me. Faster = more likeable. #science.
- I’m going to get SOOOOOOO many more comments and likes on Instagram about the race than Jen. We all know that Instagram likes are the biggest indicator of how awesome you are. My notifications are going to be lit.
- Maybe my mom will stop referring to November Project as the Jen Ference workout thing, if I am faster than her
But more than anything else, and this is the most important reason as to why I want to beat Jen Ference at Seawheeze next weekend… is that because when I do beat her, I want to feel empty.
A week after I beat Jen, I’ll realize that all those outcomes I wanted by beating Jen are ridiculous. My mom won’t remember that I beat Jen. And those Instagram likes will be meaningless. In fact, Jen is running the Edmonton Marathon the week after and I won’t be… hmm… I’ll just have to beat her again, and then I’ll just delay being a nice person. This cycle… it’s never over.
You see, I should never have been comparing myself to Jen anyway. If I go back to my “Why”, the reason I run is not to be better than Jen. (Side note: if that’s your why, I would encourage you to sit down and re-think your why). So why would my goals compare myself to others in the first place? When did my attention turn to that?
Stop for a moment and think back to your goals.
Now think about your why.
Trust in your plan. Trust in your goals. Trust in you.
Let others support, encourage and motivate you, but don’t fall into the comparison game. There are no winners when you play it.
Monday’s workout is at the Wolf Willow Stairs. Meet at the bottom.
Find the Good,
Nadim
PS. Jen is actually pacing SeaWheeze, so even if she wanted to, she can’t go faster than the time she is told to go.
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