Friendship is defined as the state of being friends. It is not some grand meeting at the beginning that measures and sustains a friendship but rather the time that exists in the mundane, in the ordinary. It is the state where you no longer exist in this universe alone but in relationship of mutual affection between two people. I found such a bond with Dani.
Dani and I started running together every Sunday morning. I am not sure how and exactly when it started but we often found ourselves running through Amsterdamse Bos. As we ran through the 1,000 hectares of woods, we listened to the drumming of the woodpeckers, the clatter of the wind, and the groaning of the trunks of old trees as the wind passed through their branches. We ran through wet and dry patches, marvelled at the budding cherry blossoms, took selfies with the grazing Scottish Highlander cows, and laughed at the bleating goats.
Our chats had no boundaries. We covered as much ground through our conversations as we did on our feet. We vented about work, we talked about our home countries and families, we discussed homesickness, life as expats, our race calendars, and our relationships. We had our favourite place to pee and laughed at the risk of getting caught with our pants down. Dani helped me navigate some particularly rough places in my life and always had my back when things got tough. She always ensured that we properly fuelled and hydrated and guaranteed we had plenty of selfies to evidence our miles.
On one of these many runs, I asked Dani an important question which would change and strengthen our friendship. I had been contemplating it for a long time. With Saskia and Roderick stepping down as long time leaders of November Project Amsterdam, I knew I couldn’t let the Amsterdam chapter die. It had given me and my son, Kid X, so much over the past few years. I knew I couldn’t lead alone but I also knew that I needed to find a person I could trust and that I was prepared to spend many hours together preparing workouts. If our long runs together (lasting upwards of 3 hours) every week wasn’t a testament of our compatibility, I am not sure what would be. She was the only logical candidate. I remembering feeling nervous asking her if she wanted to co-lead November Project Amsterdam with me. It was like asking someone out on a date or a very elaborate marriage proposal. The fear of rejection was real.
I had planned the question. Rehearsed what I would say to convince her that I was a worthy partner. That together we could be something great. I would simply pop the question. Dani, would you take me as your co-leader of November Project Amsterdam? Silence. The seconds seemed to span minutes, hours, days. The squirrels dissipated into the bushes, the birds buried into their nests, the wind stilled, the people cleared, the forest became unusually silent. And then out of the stillness, came a YES. She said yes!
For the next two years, Dani and I lead November Project together. Even though our weekly runs became less due to a combination of me having a baby, moving to another city, getting married, starting a new job, and the unfortunate consequence of less time, I still cherished our almost daily text messages. In fact, one time when Dani was away at Disney with her wife, we let a whole 48 hours fly by without a single text message. We laughed at our obvious obsession with each other. She is always at the top of my WhatsApp chat, the first person to give me kudos on a run, or give me a like on Facebook or Instagram. She has helped me run 100 kilometres during corona after a particularly bad break up.
She is the google doc queen, always reminding me to upload the photos and the workouts on the spreadsheets. She effortlessly performs bounces and gives one heck of greeting every Wednesday when our group shows up the workout. She tracks everyone’s races – giving them encouragement every kilometre of the way! She remembers every members birthday, always the first to give them birthday wishes in our WhatsApp group and a boom at the next Wednesday. She diligently plans special events such as the Pride or the Anniversary workout, coordinates guest leaders, and keeps our spray paint stocked, our workouts fun, and our members accounted for.
I have been honoured to lead beside Dani for the past 2 years. There are so many things I will miss in her retirement. Every morning at 5:00am, whether she is actually in Amsterdam or even if she is in Tokyo, she sends me a text saying simply: Awake. It offers reassurance that I am not alone. That we are in this together. I think my response offers her reassurance that I am indeed awake too and will be co-leading the workout that morning. But whatever the reason, her text message will be greatly missed. I will also miss our regular weekend meet-ups where we plan the workouts. Dima screaming, Kid X playing video games with Tori (Dani’s wife), and the dogs begging for her attention.
Dani, you are one heck of a co-leader, friend, and family member. Thanks for putting up with me these past 2 years. Thanks for your leadership, your hugs, your text messages, your hard work, your dedication, and your love for our incredible community. Your leadership may come to an end March 29, 2023, but our friendship is only just getting started. I cannot wait to see what is next on your calendar of inspiration.
Love it! We will miss her but glad she will still be around. Thank you Dani ❤️
Even before becoming co-leader, Dani was and is NP Amsterdam. The widest and warmest welcome, the loudest f*** yeah! That much will never change.
Such beautiful Words for a beautiful person.
Love it. Well said!