The Happiest of Holidays NP

I was recently speaking with a tribeswoman here in NYC, and she was able to articulate something that I have never been able to express or even really come to terms with. I will keep her anonymous at this time, and let her talk about her experiences if/when she wants. What she said has been on my mind the past few days, and I am sure she and I are not the only ones who have experienced/are experiencing this same feeling, and I want everyone to know, if you do feel this way, you have an awesome support system around you, and if you need to talk, I am here for you.

“When you have lost someone close to you, the Holidays just aren’t the same”. This has been on my mind since she said it. That pain is always there, but there is an extra little reminder around the holidays that the person who used to be there will not be, and the time you spent with that person is will be spent differently this year.

About 12 years ago I lost my mother shortly after Thanksgiving. Since then, no matter how hard we have tried, the holidays have not been the same. My mom LOVED Christmas. It was far and away her favorite time of year, and with good reason. She would decorate the interior of the house all over, like she never did for any other holiday. Snowmen were her favorite. Every year she would give my sister and I a new ornament to hang on the tree. Christmas music would ring through the house every waking hour, and she would bake more delicious Christmas cookies than I could count. I tell you all this to paint the picture that when she was gone, getting into that “Christmas Spirit” was nearly impossible, no matter how many traditions we tried to keep. The holiday was forever changed, and not for the better.

At times, the household goes through turmoil, the same joy does not radiate through the house like it used to. Those peanut butter hershey kiss cookies don’t bake themselves. A lot of this I bottle up, things in life happen, and tomorrow is a new day, the sun comes up like it did the day before, and wallowing in that sadness doesn’t get anyone anywhere. But more-so I have been able to build new relationships with so many of you, from New York City, to Portland, to San Diego, to Miri, Malaysia, and beyond. I have been fortunate enough to build so many great relationships with awesome people. Those relationships will never replace the one that I had with my mother, but they certainly help. New traditions are made, new friendships and bonds are formed, and that pain suddenly doesn’t seem so bad.

To those who continue to #justshowup, thank you – you do more than you know by being there in the morning. I want to encourage you to keep showing up. For those who have stopped coming – we miss you, and we want to encourage you to come out once again but understand, and we will be here when you do decide to #justshowup once again. Finally, for those of you who have talked about coming, wanted to come but are waiting for some reason or another – I want to encourage you to #justshowup. There is a huge community out there just waiting for you. They might help you in ways you didn’t think you needed, and you will definitely have the opportunity to form some of the strongest bonds, with some of the best people out there – I promise.

And with that, I want to wish you the Merriest of Holidays, and the Happiest of New Years. Even if your holidays have to change because of a loss or otherwise, there is still joy to be found every day, and new relationships that can bring a new happinesses into your life.

With Love,

Rob

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