Forged by His Experiences, Meet Rob (YEG)

 

It’s pretty cool that I get to intro Rob here, as someone I’ve known my whole life it’s easy to forget that not everyone knows his story.  For me, I met Rob through a mutual friend in our homeroom class back in Grade 5 at Keenooshayo Elementary, at the time I didn’t realize it but I would be meeting my best friend for the first time.  I like to think that Rob and I have been through everything together, the thick and thin, travels around the world, and slowly becoming adults.  I like to say I’ve seen Rob grow to become this incredible person that everyone knows but that would be a lie.  He’s always been this way.  You can see it in the way his family raised him – his caring, compassion, & altruistic nature from his mother.  The love of exploration, travel (and fashion style) from his brother, his playfulness and competitive nature from his sister.  Rob showcases all this and more, each and every day.  I love him like an older brother – one who’s been responsible for some of the highs in my life, some of the lows, and a lot of the in-between.  And he remains the person that I think I want to be able to be one day.  When I decide to grow up.  So please Meet Rob.

PS. I brought Rob to November Project – just want that on the record

– Trent

 

I am sitting in a restaurant surrounded by friends looking down at my phone (silly, I know), but in a moment of lucidity, amongst the table of smiles and laughter, I reflect back to what an amazing year this has been so far. Races, Summit, Seawheeze, training, and weekly watch parties to catch the latest episode of Game of Thrones. Yesterday I witnessed an event called the Crate Escape in Vancouver. In summary: it was a storytelling extravaganza that involved standing on a crate and people sharing their “game changing moment”.  It was humbling because here were strangers, for all intents and purposes, putting themselves out there, to share in each other’s stories and revel in their honest lows and highs. I didn’t get to speak that night (not that I had put my name in the hat in the first place), but it did get the gears turning for how to approach this blog. So much so, that I would like to piggyback on that theme a little. The puzzle of why I am here, why I show up, and why I act the way I do couldn’t be complete without me being honest to myself and to you. I can’t share my entire life experience, and I know there will be many more game changing moments to come, but I will share 3 memorable ones. Bear with me, because in order to “Meet Rob,” you’ll have to first start by imagining me standing on a crate…

 

Answers to these types of questions are very hard to put words to. It feels like I need nonexistent superlatives to help my sentences. No matter what I do, how well I describe it, how many videos you watch or articles you read, they all fall short of being able to put an important moment into words. With so much to unpack, a lot of ever changing conclusions I’ve come to, tips I’ve learned, hell,  even a few Hallmark-isms, it would be remiss of me if I didn’t take the opportunity to provide:

 

Wisconsin Notes (read the NP book for reference on these notes):

• Friday is at Walterdale, Monday’s location will be in the next blog, and Jen has to go to work
• #justshowup
• Life is precious. It is fleeting. It’s all about the moments you have, and the people that you share it with
• The world is filled with good people; you just have to say hello
• Be comfortable being uncomfortable
• Eating mustard while running stops muscle cramps #magic
• Every week should have rest days! They are more important than always working out
• #neverstopexploring

 

1.

 

If you know me, you know that I like to be blunt. Considerate but blunt, tactful but blunt… okay, so maybe at times I use too many words trying to be expressive (haha). But for my first game changing moment, I won’t sugarcoat it.

 

My father passed away when I was 9, and my mom when I was 17.

 

All too often, a defining moment starts with a broken heart. “A broken heart is a broken heart; to take measure is just cruel.” – unknown. I quote that because my intention is not to harbor sympathy, but for those who have had death affect your lives, you know the pain regardless of the way it manifested. My parents we smart, loving, caring people. Sure, it’s hard to be objective with rose colored glasses on while looking to the past, but those memories are the idealization of who I strive to be. I could talk all day about how the constant dinner parties fueled my love for cooking, how they encouraged and fostered reading, learning, and sports, how they read the best bedtime stories, or how they would give the best hugs. In many ways, I try to emulate them where I can. Striving for moments when someone would say “you’re such your mother/father’s son.” My greatest joy was hearing stories of them from family members, because those memories and how they affected others is how their memory stays alive.

 

“Everyone dies alone, but if you mean something to someone, if you helped someone, loved someone, if even a single person is affected by you, then maybe you never really die at all.” – unknown.

 

I have been forged by these experiences, but they do not define me. I was lucky. I had family and friends galore that shaped my development and provided an environment that let me grow. This is why community is such an important thing to me. It is different for everyone, but a supportive network of good people allows you to be the best you can. I was heavily involved in extracurricular activities: students union president, grad president, food bank, soccer/rugby/swimming etc. With each came a new opportunity to learn from others. I strive to constantly learn, but in my mind, the main purpose of doing these things was to provide a supportive environment for someone else. To give back to others in the countless ways that they have given back to me.

 

2.

 

In what feels like a lifetime ago I joined November Project (NP).  I knew one person, and for months that was who I solely interacted with. One conversation at a time I gained friends, and I have the pleasure of considering many of them family now. No, not all by blood, but in the truest sense I would treat them no different. This hodgepodge workout group seemed cool and felt welcoming at a time where I felt like I was failing at balancing life’s responsibilities. Countless steps, kilometers, pushups, and hoisty-j’s later, I am still waking up to work out with the best group of people in Edmonton.

 

Why do we show up? That question has been answered countless times and by people way more eloquent than me. Many of them touch on the idea that phrases like “I have a goal,” or “I want to be healthy” just aren’t enough to get out of a warm bed in the morning. Instead word the question as, what inspires me to go to NP? In that way, there is never a real reason not to go. We choose to surround ourselves with each other, through thick and thin. Sometimes I am fast; other times slow; I miss a week or two; I get an injury; or I am just really not in the mood. Regardless of any of these things, I know that this group will be there and always welcoming. That’s what keeps me coming back.

 

That said, I would’ve never strived for any of my past and future athletic goals without having been a part of this group. 5km, 10km, 21.1km, 42.2km, triathlons, an ironman. None of these would be possible without you showing up each week.  These goals and the non-athletic ones work because of the support we give each other. Sometimes that’s a “good job” while climbing Walterdale hill, a silent high five, or even a hug.

 

The alarm clock never gets easier, but in my time with this group, I have fundamentally changed how I look at any sort of difficulty. I have learned to frame adversity as a challenge. If you do, you become more flexible and able to deal with it. When you are able to move forward, you learn from the challenge and grow a little each time. If you instead focus on the adversity, frame it as a threat, a potentially traumatizing event becomes an enduring problem. You become more and more inflexible and likely to be negatively affected by the smallest of things. Be comfortable being uncomfortable.

 

To demonstrate how amazing the NP community is, you only have to run a race with a tagged shirt on. I promise from other runners and from the sidelines, you will hear “yeah NP!! You got this!” It doesn’t matter what city you are in. To really drive home how awesome this group is, let me tell you about San Francisco:

 

Having won a trip to California in the summer of 2017 to see the Oilers play the Sharks (#sports), one of my first thoughts was what NP cities I could hit up on the trip. The stars aligned to make it to San Francisco after the game. Not knowing anyone there, and selfishly trying to save some money, an ask was sent out to see if anyone had a spare couch I could use. After meeting the powerhouse couple that is Tony and Holly, I stayed with them only for a few days before they left on their own vacation. Having hit it off with a random Canadian, they offered their home for me to babysit while they were away. “Seriously?!” were the only words I think I could muster. To me, this exemplifies how amazing NP is. It brings together the best of the best and that transcends any distance. Their kindness and friendship is something I will truly cherish.

 

So, next time you’re at a workout or race, throw up a high five, or shout out to the grassroots gear. You never know how much of a difference the little things can make.

 

3.

 

For my last game changing moment, I don’t really remember specifically when it happened or what in particular led to it, but I think it could be best described as a feeling I’ve gained over time and could only see by looking back at it all. It was a Friday morning at hills, it was dark, and the low murmur of the crowd increased as the masses arrived. We huddled together, we bounced, we giggled at something Nadim said, and during this, something began to click in my head. No one would have noticed it (the words were lost in the identical shouts), but it was significant for me. On that day, that morning, in that moment, surrounded by family, Nadim yelled “y’all good?!”. I shouted back at the top of my lungs: “FUCK YEAH!”… and I sincerely…truly…meant it.

 

Thank you for reading and see you soon,

Rob

 

*jumps off the crate*

 

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