A little over two months ago, we had just finished another great wednesday workout and I was debating whether I had enough time to make it to breakfast before the rest of my day started. I was walking and talking with Mercedes, when Pat looped his long arm around me and pulled me to him.
“Hey Kaye, can I talk to you for a sec?” he asked.
I thought, “Uh oh, What did I do?”
As you all know by now, he told me the sad news about his stepping down and asked if I was willing to step up in the tribe. Both news were doubly shocking, especially since Syd had stepped down not too long ago. Then it hit me again, Pat had just asked me to consider being co-leader with the guy who had instagram stalked me to come for a single workout.
It was definitely a lot to take in, but I knew it was something I really had to think about. It might seem surprising to a lot of people that I didn’t immediately step up to this, but leadership of our tribe has always been something I really admire and respect. It’s always been a very welcoming, respectful and considerate leadership and I always liked how seamless it always seems. So for me the first news left me more disjointed than the reality of taking up the responsibility.
I think I told Pat that if I had to decide right then, I’d probably say no, but he said he was telling me this early so that I could think about it and we could talk things out.
I had several reasons for not wanting the responsibility but my reason concerned my role as I saw it in the tribe. I guess I always looked at myself as the tribe’s everyman. You know, the guy everyone in the tribe feels comfortable with or at least a middling percentage. I’ll always remember how Nick went out of his way to make me feel comfortable my first NP workout (yes there was a time when I was a newbie). After that, it’s a little harder to break into the tribe, especially if you are a little socially self conscious. I enjoy making that entry easier for the newbies that choose to spend their morning with us. Our leaders always do a great job of welcoming, but it helps a lot when another friendly face that’s not a leader can be there for a pre-bounce chat and an introduction to a tribe mate you think they might get along with. Those connections are important to bringing people back and exposing the city to our brand of community. I like trying to foster those relationships between people, but more importantly getting someone more comfortable with our weird ways. I wondered if it was better to remain in that role of support.
I also really like and admire the people I have been supporting. The leadership of this tribe has always been one of it’s strongest qualities. When I first got here, the parents, as we called them, were the epitome of what you want in tribe mates. Nick, Pat and Syd were strong athletes who were always present. They were enthusiastic supporters of everyone and always presented a warmth that made it easy to talk and listen to. They were also tough on us when they had to and I still remember that time Lerman, Sam and I got a talking to for some less than workout shenanigans. But even that occasion led to a positive conversation that made us all better tribe mates.
The transition with Bryson has been just as seamless and it’s hard to see any change in the chemistry up there. The level of intensity that is Bryson is really unmatched and I can tell you all that the way you’ve seen her work her ass off in a workout is the same way that she leads. She does not stop until the job is done.
So for me, stepping up to join the work these guys have done is a big deal. I have to question if I can reflect the qualities I see and admire or even if our chemistry can continue to foster the bonds that make our tribe so special to us.
Of course there is also the fact that I didn’t have to stand in front of the tribe regularly. I’ve always been the type of person that chooses to seat in the back of the class. Could I stand in front of the tribe for every workout and not succumb to my thundering heart? Or I could just do what I’ve been doing, stay off stage and support the people I trust with the well being of the tribe. Besides, being in the back and helping out was so comfortable. If I didn’t have any responsibility, then on an off day, cause we all have some of those in us, I could just stay comfortably in the back and not be required to do anything.
Comfort. That’s the word that kept coming back to me. I was very comfortable in my role and I was really enjoyed that, but I know what comfort means for me. When I’ve had my best runs, it’s never been at my most comfortable. It’s always been the hard tough runs that made me break my barriers and step beyond myself. This is something people in the tribe can relate to, the concept of stepping out beyond yourself to do something different. I see a lot of people in the tribe taking bigger responsibilities in their professional lives, doing things they weren’t sure they could succeed at. Tribe mates moving to new places to expand their horizon, even if it’s travelling alone to distant places but pursuing their dreams. Being comfortable is nice, but improving yourself and breaking your self imposed ceilings is even better. I couldn’t sit back in my comfort when this opportunity came calling.
More importantly, November Project Baltimore is something I care about. It involves a lot of people that I respect and love. It’s exposed me to different experiences, people and food. Shout out to Liz the Pho queen! I’ve learned a lot of things about myself and constantly reminds me about how wonderful can be. There not many times in life when you get to affect something you care about and to do it with people that you admire to boot.
After thinking about it, talking with Bryson, Nick and Pat. Getting an awesome hug and excited “you’ll be awesome” from Syd, it became a lot easier in my mind. I started to think about it in the NP way, in the Baltimore way. This wouldn’t be rolling up a boulder uphill, it would be adding my hands in combination with other hands to raise something we all care about. I’d be helping my friends as they help me in continuing a tradition of positivity that has been established here. Sure the bounces might get a little awkward from time to time, but hey that’s just something else to laugh about. Of course you’ll have to listen a little harder to decipher my awesome accent, but if I can get you guys to do a complete bounce in my native Yoruba, I would have accomplished a life goal, so there’s that to look forward to.
The most important thing is that I’d be working with two great people to get you guys sweating and grinning with all the silly things we can get you to do. I’ll be facilitating a way for my friends and future friends to enjoy the city. I’ll be meeting new friends and witnessing all my tribe-mates reach beyond their comfort. So I’ll see you at the bounce and if you pass up my hug to walk across the pavilion to chat up a stranger, I’ll be even happier.
Y’all good?
FUCK YEAH!
FUCK YEAH?
FUCK YEAH!!!!
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