What. A. Week. Whataweekwhataweekwhataweek. Let’s see….. Do I even have anything left to talk about? #BIKEGANG pretty much took over all those duties with their Thursday morning videos. However, in an act of pure negligence, they left the NPSF community in the barely capable hands of Gretchen and that chick with the beard. (You made notecards, Gretchen? Real?) So, I’m not sure we can trust them. You know what we can trust the #BIKEGANG to do? Get naked at random times for no reason at all. I’ve seen that picture of Jorge naked WAY more times that I needed to. And honestly? That statement would still be true even if I only saw it once. Because once was too much. But in reality, I’ve seen it like 45 times. It haunts my news feed. People keep commenting on it and bringing it back to life. You know that little red #1 on Facebook? Yeah, the one that used to pump serotonin into my veins with the expectation that someone out there in cyberspace likes me enough to interact with me online? Well, instead of making me rapid-fire click my mouse like a morphine drip, all that #1 does for me now is elicit a visceral, jaw clenching response in anticipation of seeing Jorge’s pubes again. UNNECESSARY on all accounts, Jorge. (In before Jorge says GFY).
Oh, I’m sorry, some of you have no idea what I’m talking about, do you? Are you saying when you see a 9 minute video pop up on Facebook you don’t immediately shirk all work-related responsibilities to watch it at your desk? Are you saying that you don’t hang up on the client to see whether or not you’ve won the “Jorge wants to molest you” award? Chyeah, sure, I bet you don’t click on BuzzFeed links either. I bet the article “15 Hedgehogs With Things That Look Like Hedgehogs” doesn’t appeal to you at all. LIAR! LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING HEDGEHOGS!
*Ahem* Well, if you’re looking to try and figure out what we did today I guess you’ve never read one of these things before, but I’ll do my best. We ran hills. We ran hills in China Town. We ran hills in China Town and recruited a random newbie off the street that Rebecca Daniels has already called dibs on (back off ladies). We also stole crates from a nearby fruit vendor and used them for box jumps. We did pull-ups on traffic signal poles and got shown up by Hilary. We earned our weekend, we always do.
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