We Missed You: I Miss You So Much It Hurts Kate BeLostInTheWoods (BOS)

After being in a relationship with someone for nearly a decade, you would think that you really know someone. You’ve seen them laugh, you’ve heard them fart and you’ve seen them cry (and those three have probably all happened in sequence a few times). You know their strengths and you know their weaknesses. At the end of the day, you do all your calculations and you decide you want to stick with this person.

This morning started for Kate at 5:15am when her first alarm went off…well actually it started at 5:45am when Kate actually got out of bed #KateBeSnoozin. It was a rush but we were able to get out our door for the 3mi run, just in time to get to the #DestinationDeck at 6:32am. Being tardy to the party meant that the only thing we heard about the workout, was that it involved eggs. We buddied up because if we’re going to be confused about something, we might as well do it together.

Or so I thought…I figured I would be a gentleman and let Kate decide if she wanted to egg hunt first or plank first. I made the rookie mistake of choosing the latter. I went down into a high plank hold and she went off into the woods with dozens of others to find eggs.

I do what I normally do during a group plank; check my form, check my neighbors form, check my form to make sure it’s better than theirs, look for nearby friends, then concentrate on keeping still. About a minute goes by and I see that Chris came back with an egg and his partner Drew went off into the woods. I know Chris & Drew are super fast, so I won’t expect Kate to get back for another minute or so. Drew came back, Chris went out…still no Kate. Chris came back, Drew went out…still no Kate.

After about 4 minutes of planking, this is when the burn/shake starts to kick in. After about 7 minutes of planking, this is where a few other feelings start to kick in:

1. Denial: Where is she? Could it really take this long to find dozens of eggs that are out there? Maybe she forgot to come back. Maybe she thought she was partners with someone else.

2. Anger: WTF. Who takes 9 minutes to find a stupid little egg? Did she think she had to run to the closest Trader Joe’s and buy an egg?!

3. Bargaining: Alright I am changing to a low plank. Ugh not any better, side plank…now other side. Back to high plank…

4. Depression: Well Scott Champagne had to wait a while for Dana to come back, but she ultimately DID COME BACK. Am I going to be stuck like this FOREVER? Why didn’t I just sleep in?!

5. Acceptance: Oh Kate’s coming back down the hill! I bet she has an egg!! Wait why is she going back up the other hill? Guess she didn’t find one. Might as well stay comfortable.

I have no clue how long this went on for because I think I may have blacked out for a minute or two, but people tell me it was around 13 minutes of planking.

When she ultimately did come back (of course with no egg) I fully intended to just get up and run home solo… no hugs…no crowd surfing…no group photo…nada. As the blood came back to my head, I started to think clearer and I realized this would be a bad idea, since she (likely) didn’t get lost in the woods on purpose.

I guess the moral of this story is, no matter how much you think you know someone, you really have time to think about your relationship during 13 minutes of planks. I still love you Kate BeLostInTheWoods…let’s never be apart for that long again…seriously #BrogansAbs_Pledge.
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