Schizophrenic ADHD (DEN)

530 Focus Group
530 Focus Group


  • I may or may not be mildly-to-moderately intoxicated while composing this soliloquy on Thursday evening.
  • Hills were run, the sun rose, pirate murder whispers wurrrrr whisped, Matthew spent the entire 6:15 workout bidding on a bag of banana hammocks on Ebay.
  • To our surprise, the “hammocks” were actual supportive stockings for actual bananas.  Worth it.  Over-ripe bananas are the worst.  
  • There is a new cat in the tribe, Eric.  He’s a distant relative of Einstein.  Not the bagel sandwich mogul.  The scientist.  We now own “coolest fucking tribe” award.
  • This post has been brought to you by the mutha truckin’ neurotransmitter, Dopamine.  And the letter wine.

WTF is going on in 5280?  It’s April 29th, 2016 and I’m starting to think polar bears, penguins, Inuits, and 47 year old, overweight mechanics in Carhartts named Steve need to migrate to Colorado.  These are the only species who can possibly live in the inhospitable conditions that are currently known as Denver.  Ma’ Nature is straight trippin’, yo.  It’s like someone slipped her a mickey and her speech and cognitive processing are rapidly deteriorating.  Girl needs some damn sunshine and rainbows.

Nerd Alert:

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter responsible for various aspects of movement, memory, pleasure, behavior, cognition, attention, sleep, and mood, among others.  See where I’m going, here?

Hugs and feel goods release a hormone – oxytocin.  You hug me, our oxytocins hug our dopamines, and we feel good.  It’s science.  4 out of 5 dentists recommend it, but only after flossing and avoiding movie theater popcorn.

You see, this is all just a big science experiment under the cloak of exercise.  You #justshowup for the workout.  You work hard.  You feel good.  You feel good because you didn’t have to do it alone and you had what your grandmother would call “a hootenanny.”  That hootenanny is what it’s all about.  We become better individuals by working out, but we become a better community by working out together.  In our togetherness, we increase production of oxytocin and its interaction with dopamine.  Loaded with dopamine, we have better and more productive work days (questionable), better relationships, and the occasional hallucination.  Hugs release oxytocin.  Oxytocin interacts with dopamine, which positively affects how we perceive pleasure.  Ergo, hugs are the coal that make this love train roll.  Go hug someone today, tell them about November Project, and leave them with a flood of oxytocin, dopamine response, and feel damn goods.

Keep On Huggin’,

Major Wood

615 Disturbing the Peace
615 Disturbing the Peace

PS – Don’t forget your homework.  Commit a pseudo-meditated random act of kindness toward a stranger by next Wednesday.  There WILL be a quiz.


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