Rounders Reboot – DEN

It’s the height of Oscar season.  Everyone is putting their best cinematic foot forward in preparation for the early spring’s delivery of a miniature gold man on a pedestal.  Today’s review comes 2 years in the making.

When Matthew told me today’s workout was “cloudy with a chance of meatballs”, I was expecting a thorough education on the rise of Italian cuisine in Seattle.  I could not have been more wrong, if not mildly disappointed.  There was nothing to do with spaghetti (hmph), meatballs (double hmph), or the motherland of grunge (RIP, Kurt Loder?).

Matthew delivered rippling quads and a stellar workout that would make Tom Brady’s chin dimple straighten.  In a performance befitting Matt Damon, we gambled our fitness futures on a roll of the dice and a prayer.  Every roll was like Christmas morning, but without your older sister opening your presents.  With his finest move yet, Matthew unveiled a heretofore unseen deviant exercise that can be best described as a parakeet sexfighting a bison.  Don’t reread that, you got it right the first time.  On second thought, do, then draw what plays out in your head.

My final review on November Project –Denver can be summed up thusly:

Men: If you attend these shenanigans and your friends do not admire it, tactfully inform them they are idiots.

Women: If your fellow does not enjoy these displays of tomfoolery, tell him you’ve been thinking it over, and you think you should consider spending some time apart.

November Project is certain to be the darling of social media this winter.  Don’t be left in the warmth.  Come see what all the free fuss is about!

Rating: 10 burpees

Major Wood – Poking you on Facebook since 2005

FRIDAY 530/615: Convention Center Stairs

THIS Sunday: #BetterThanBedtime –  2pm.  Curtis Park, 32nd & Arapahoe. Dress up. In black and white. For info about this special NP wide event from the two tall tatted men that started this movement go here For event info specific to NP5280 (Denver), go here

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