Whoa, harsh. But pulled directly from the texts. Don’t kill the messenger. Pls see below for evidence. Pls see below for what happens when you break a verbal, but have true friends to hold you accountable.
We missed you, Kramer.
We’ve taught you so many good lessons recently, Kramer, but you failed at the only one that really mattered. You know better. We’ve raised you better.
(Editor’s note: Meissner is way too nice.)
What led you to sleep in so late? It certainly wasn’t yesterday’s bar crawl, because everyone else made it.
(Are you 21?) (I remember MY first bar crawl.)
Were you busy practicing whatever this is?
You certainly weren’t practicing your partner planks with Hiller. Hiller was at the workout and only made 6 to 19 “bounce song” jokes (which are even worse in person).
(BTW we still give this attempt a B-.)
Maybe you were at all-male cheerleading/synchronized land-swimming practice? (I realize that this is the dirty dancing move in rugby, but I hear it works better if you’re in proximity of the ball.)
Maybe you were reuniting with your boy band? What was that one single you guys had? ‘My thumbs in my jean pockets bring all the girls to the yard’?
Learning to braid your hair, maybe? (And if so, can you teach Kerry?)
We know that Saturday’s a rugby day, but Monday is ALWAYS Meridian day. (Except for when it’s Capitol Hill day.) You were Kerry’s first and most successful recruit, but oh how the mighty have fallen. We don’t think the Washington Irish have broken any verbals lately. Just saying…
We’re not mad, just disappointed. We hope you’ve learned another good lesson.
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