John, where art thou? (BAL)


As the Mom+Dads of the tribe, we know there is a lot of sibling rivalry going on. You didn’t know this, but tribemembers bake cookies and muffins in the middle of the night and leave them at our doorstep. They are just REALLY excited to be #1 in our eyes. But then there is John: the quiet wrecking ball that destroys everything in his path at 5:30AM. He’s the one we didn’t need to worry about, the one we thought we had taught well in the lessons of credit card debt and wearing a yellow vest while riding his bike at 5AM. We weren’t worried. He was the good boy. We didn’t see this coming.

Early in the morning, we hid 150 eggs. We did it to see the joy on our tribekids’ faces as they sprinted around the field to find them. [Side note: I now understand why parents have so much fun on Easter. Hiding eggs and watching kids run around like lunatics not being able to find them is HILARIOUS. I’m excited for the future.] And when John dropped a verbal, we counted on it to be funny and witty and REAL. That verbal was 2/3 of those things.


We were prepared to watch a very grown man stoop beneath bushes and climb up the playground, all to achieve the golden egg of burpees. 5:15AM rolled around, 5:20, 5:30, 5:35….no yellow-vested man on his bike. We became frantic. We made all the other parents search as well. We called his name as loud as we could on Fed Hill Park. It was still a dull whisper but he should have come when he was called. WHERE WAS JOHN!?

At the end of workout, I found the remaining eggs [look up kids!] and was going to continue the search for our dear prized one John, until I checked instagram. We were as sad as Bugs Bunny on rabbit season day. Sad as Peter Cottontail wandering away from home. Sad as another bunny with another tragic story!

John, we hate to do this to you, but we are taking a golden star away from you and redistributing to another sibling by the name of Chris. He has never dropped a verbal to us. He is always around to paint our nails. He would help me find the remaining eggs that you and the youngsters left behind.


Needless to say, the sibling rivalry continues. We aren’t mad, we’re just disappointed.

We missed you,
Your Tribe Parents

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