Don’t Sweat It

This morning after #EARLYGANG and before #LATEGANG (read: tween-time), I was laying out the labels for the 6:30 group and this young couple came my way. Normally I wouldn’t pay attention to non np-ers that early in the morning, but they caught my eye because they were both wearing hooded sweatshirts and sweatpants repping their respective alma maters, which were Stanford and Yale. So picture a dude in a full cardinal red sweat suit holding hands with a girl in a full navy blue sweat suit, with STANFORD and YALE written pretty much everywhere. I guess its not that weird, but like, it did kind of seem like they were screaming LOOK HOW SMART WE ARE ALSO WE’RE A COUPLE SMARTEST COUPLE EVER OMG. Which made me immediately resent them because apparently I hate both love and higher education and am filled with spite (I blame McCloskey). But anyways, they walked right by me as I placed the “burpees” label, and Mr. Stanford goes: “aw, honey, want to do burpees?” And Mrs. Mr. Stanford (fmrl Ms. Yale) politely laughs and says, “oh, hehe, no thank you.” So I’m all like, “Come on guys! It’s only 10! You can do it.” And they were just like, “um… no, weird stranger in the park wearing spandex.” (They didn’t say that last part). So I go along my way, questioning my ability to make people workout while not working out myself — which, you know, is my calling, and I place a few more labels, and then round the corner a couple minutes later to lay the final label, and there they are again! Walking right by me as I lay down another label. And she goes “STOP TRYING TO MAKE US WORKOUT.” And I’m like “THEN DON’T WEAR A FULL SWEAT SUIT IN MY PARK! THIS IS MY PARK. MINE!” …

I’m realizing now that this isn’t a very good story. There’s no beginning middle end. No themes or motifs. No climax. Our protagonists didn’t learn anything, except maybe that he’s kind of a jerk. But alas, I’ve written too much and so now I’m going to stop.

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FRIDAY! 5:30am & 6:30am, Sutro trails. Meet at the car park up top.

SUNDAY! Better than Bedtime III. Aquatic Park, 2:00pm. Theme: black and white.

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