I’m not sure what happened while I was away gallivanting around Denver but the tribe grew up. I came back and boy did I LURNT TODAY! Here are the important things I found out:
1. The 5:30AM group is now large enough to require an actual bounce. Turns out Baltimore is full of looney tunes who like waking up early as much as I do. Fuck yeah 5:30, lets get weird. I promise you…5:30 will be nothing if not weird. Ridiculous costumes are encouraged.
2. The tribe is now 65+ people. Let me try to find an appropriate analogy.That is roughly equivalent to a father, gone away on business, only to come home and watch his infant suddenly bang out 100 burpees and do shuttle sprints like fucking Usain Bolt jacked up on organic energy drinks. I was going to equate it to watching your child take his first steps but it’s so much more than that. Lets not sell ourselves short.
3. Dogs are now an actual thing. Thank you to Bailey the poodle and your crazy eyes for paving the way for all other dogs. You are no longer alone.
4. Wait a second! Lets go back to number 2 for a hot moment. Pat, Sydney and I made a promise to you fine people several weeks ago. IF we hit 65 or more people at a workout we would add a Friday hill workout. Well congrata-frickin-lations folks…you did it. You now have to wake up before dawn ANOTHER day of the week to listen to us prattle on about the merits of handhugging and why bodily contact and cussing are essential components of any great morning. NP LOVE. Apparently we can’t get enough of you all.
Stay tuned for more details about Friday workouts. We will announce the first one shortly! (It won’t be this Fridayso don’t show up at a random location and hope that you guessed correctly).
5. “Better than Bedtime” is on August 17th. Save the date. Seriously, save it. Tell your mother you can’t come over for dinner. Tell your girlfriend you don’t care that it’s her birthday (I hold no responsibility for the backlash from that). Tell your dog that you’ll walk him twice on Saturday. I promise you, this event is better than bedtime but it’s also better than most anything else you could possibly doing on a Sunday (except perhaps playing 1on1 with Michael Jordan circa 1987).
Thank you to Amy for crushing picture making today. I actually saw her lie down on the steps today to get some ridiculous action shot. She was nearly trampled. The tribe is ruthless.
Additionally, thank you to Ms.Thankappan for earning the Positivity Award like a champion. This girl has gone above and beyond for the tribe since the earliest days of the “tribe” ( more accurately called three people freezing in the middle of November). She has designed our crab stencil, bought us spray paint, bought us chalk, organized get togethers, recruited stangers and has just loved the tribe unconditionally. She doesn’t get enough credit (probably my fault) so it’s about time we gave her some.