Here’s a flyer for 20% off your next month’s membership fee to November Project. It works just like my favorite piece of #printmedia that lands in my mailbox, encouraging me to shop at Bed Bath & Beyond. Ok ok, so the NP ticket isn’t really a discount coupon, but since we charge $free for every single workout, the ticket will do more good in the world and spend less cash than that hot little coupon.
But seriously, for a limited time only*, you too can get fitness at discounted rates in luxurious places like the parking lot outside the Fenway Bed Bath & Beyond. The tribe in Boston has everything you need. BB&B may have all the home goods and house wares on your list, (plus a few you didn’t even know you needed), but November Project has everything you need. When you #riseandshine with the Tribe, you will feel great. Hugs cure just about everything so come get your daily fill. Then there are pushups to add to your cleaning collection of products like Comet, Thunder, and Lightning, Lunges to enhance the booty-shaped knick-knacks around your home, Burpees for all around febreeze-y goodness, and Sit-Ups for the storm clouds rolling in like rolls of Charmin and Snuggle-soft towels shaped into chiseled abs.
Ok, none of that made sense at all, but stick with the sales pitch.
Don’t miss your chance, the offer is limited, no shipping & handling charges, #justshowup and get your very own fitness. It’s coming at you Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 6:30am. And if you join now, we’ll throw in a free Wednesday 5:30am workout. That’s right, I said FREE!
Just check out the testimonials from this morning’s Destination Deck, which was an OLD SCHOOL deck-of-cards workout, with a new twist, that you’ve really got to have. This season’s deck is all the rage and you’ll see very soon, all the other fitness-fashionable cities will soon be following suit.**
One woman: “I was away for a while. I fell off the wagon with NP. But this Deck…I’m back.”
Chris Payne: [singing] “SHUT UP AND BURPEEE!”
Guy with a tampon in his nose: “I’ve never done a deck by running around like this. It’s the best. Period.”
Chris Capozzi: [whispering to himself] “is it thunder first or lightning? Definitely lightning. Wait, where do the clouds come in?”
This morning and this morning ONLY, we designated a parking spot for each card in the deck. Groups with a deck of cards turned a card and sprinted across the parking lot to the matching spot and performed the number of repetitions of the exercise as indicated on the card.
Hearts = Pushups.
Spades = Situps.
Diamonds = Lunges.
Clubs = Burpees.
It was wild, it was fierce and fun, and it was BEYOND everyone’s hopes and dreams.
Don’t miss out, another Destination Deck is coming soon. It just might be bigger, better, bed-ier, bath-ier, and beyond.
*limited time only: means FOREVER in this offer.
**bad pun. Very much intended.
MORE SPECIAL OFFERS: Wednesday is PR Day–the Last Wednesday of the Month–and we will be racing our faces/asses/balls/ovaries/hats off and our hearts out. PR photos will be taken.
If you’re able to volunteer for the #paintcrew…we WILL be tagging #grassrootsgear on Wed. Message me (Emily) if you can help out either 5:30 or 6:30 group.
That’s all I’ve got to say about that.
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