A Star is Born (DEN)

Today we were graced by a new star on our NP5280 Walk of Fame. I’m not just talking about that Minnesota North Star, Holly. I’m talking about that shiny new move that all of the kids will be throwing down in the clubs a few short months from now. I’m talking about that bright, hot, white, convulsing, super giant that lit up the morning sky like a Griswold family Christmas display. I’m talking about none other than that ever so elegant combination of a donkey kick and a star jump… the Super Donkey Nova!

THE SUPER DONKEY NOVA… It works your arms! It works your legs! It works your coordination! It makes you fall over with laughter! It even cuts through cans! For three easy payments of absolutely nothing… plus shipping and handling. ORDER YOURS NOW!
I have to pay shipping and handling if I get it from you here now?
It was shipped to here… and I’ve been handling it…

It turns out that all of our research and development with the Focus Group (5:30) has finally paid off. We all owe a big ‘thank you’ to our crack team of exercise engineers! I, for one, can’t wait to see what they come up with next!

Just remember, although being part of the Focus Group (5:30) is the best environment to collaborate on new and exciting developments in the field of NP Moveology, we invite all of you to experiment for the betterment of the tribe. It’s not silly, IT’S SCIENCE!

Now go, fuck shit up… In an “I’m gonna make everything around me better” kind of way…

530 Focus Group530 Focus Group

FRI: Convention Center Stairs (Speer and Champa)

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