Ok, it has been awhile since the last one of these blogs, so it should probably be remembered that I’m no expert at any of this and I’m just as guilty as the next person about all of it. And feel free to skip right to the bottom to read the important announcement about Monday. If you’re paying attention you might catch a hint that I throw into the blog. Or maybe I won’t throw one in here at all.
We spend so much of our time worrying about what others think of us. We live in a world where we are judged and evaluated all the time. When we are young, we go to school where an adult evaluates our brain. Then we graduate and some people apply to a school where a person that we never meet evaluates the evaluations of the adults who evaluated our brain so that we can be evaluated by more adults and pay a large sum of money for it. Then we tell the story of our lives on a piece of paper, which gets evaluated by a person at a company to see if they will meet with you where they will evaluate you even more. If you’re lucky, they’ll pay you, but then also evaluate you every year. At some point, you’ll probably go to a doctor who will evaluate you. Or you’ll meet your girlfriend’s parents for the first time, and they will judge you. And all this time, you’ll evaluate and judge people around you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of this. In fact, it is good for us to evaluate and make judgements. It falls apart when you evaluate without fully understanding everything though. I’ve went way off track to get to that last statement. Ok. We spend so much of our time worrying about what others think of us. First impressions are everything, right? That’s definitely true when you’re in a job interview. We portray ourselves in a certain way so that we are the best person for that job. We need to make sure the interviewers like us. That’s the point.
Somewhere in the history of social media, we got this “like” feature which told people what others find interesting about them. People can now evaluate your thoughts, pictures instantly. I got more likes when I fell at the stadium, than when I took a photo of me running and not falling. Naturally, I should probably post more videos of me falling because that’s what people like. The “likes” are what makes social media successful. At NP, we know when a workout was great, because we’ll see a ton of likes, mentions and posts about it. It lets Jen, Andrew and I what to keep doing and what to never do again. Social media tells us what other people think is good, and what other people think isn’t good. People are evaluating the content you post on social media every day. Naturally, your best content is going to be the coolest shit that happens to you… Like when you run up a mountain and are taking in the view. That shit is beautiful. But, I’m pretty sure Jay Kinsella is the only person I know that runs up a mountain every day. I can’t remember where I was going with this, because I got lost thinking about how badass Jay is.
Anyways, as we go through different posts that we see, our mind starts to tell us that this is people’s everyday. And that their everyday is so badass, and that we want our everyday to be like that. We forget that social media is filled with people’s highlight reels. Then we start to get down on ourselves because we create this perception of other people’s reality that is far off base. And our highlight reel gives people a perception of a reality that is not who you are. And it’s all because we want people to “like” what we do. We want to get as many likes as we can. It’s like an online compliment. And who doesn’t like compliments?
We don’t show the other side of us. I don’t show you how messy my room is. Why? Well, how is someone supposed to trust me to make decisions on their careers if I can’t even make my bed in the morning. But maybe I do make the bed in the morning, but not all mornings. Maybe I don’t even have a bed. Maybe I’m just using this example to throw you off. Let’s just confuse reality a bit more.
I went to a workshop a few years ago about people who lie in interviews. One of the my takeaways from it was that people rarely lie, but they’ll omit the truth, or quickly gloss over something they are ashamed of. While I am not saying that it’s ok to lie, I think you need to have a filter and to show what you want the world to see. Which windows of your life are you letting others look into.
A few weeks ago, I took a look at my own windows that I have opened for others. What do my filters show everyone of the person that I am. After all, I can only control some of what you see, but I can’t control what you think of me after that. I really have no idea if this is what other people see, but for the sake of getting to the end of this long blog, let’s just go with it. So, let’s talk about a few of them:
- I run a lot. You probably make the conclusion that I’m pretty fit and that I’m healthy, and that would make sense if you see me at November Project or on social media. Feel free to make note of how many times I drive to NP or ask Jen how often I ignore invites to HIIT classes if you want a better idea of things.
- I’m very weatherproof because I never miss a workout because of weather. Here’s the thing. I don’t miss NP workouts because of the weather. But in March, I skipped some weekend runs because it was cold and dark and snowing and I was done with winter.
- I eat a lot of cookies and donuts. I love cookies. There’s no hiding it. And there’s more about this in the upcoming blogs about nutrition and fueling. But I’m not stuffing my face with cookies and donuts all the time. I eat other things. Seriously. When the time is right, I will eat them, but I’d say I eat fairly healthy enough, but can also indulge when I need it.
- I’m loud and weird. I’m actually fairly quiet outside of NP. I’m reserved at work. I’m not going around hugging and booping people on the nose on a regular day.
- I’m outgoing and love being around people. This is a weird one. I’d actually identify as being an introvert but can adapt if needed. I need to balance hanging out with large groups all the time, by making sure I have my alone time. Often, I will just sit around doing nothing on my own because I just need a break from being around others. I need me time.
We can hide those things we don’t want other people to see. We can choose the windows the people have into our lives. I don’t’ think we need to change that. But I do think we need to all remember that we only ever see the highlight reel.
But what does it all mean? Are we supposed to change what we post? Should I post more about the bed that I don’t have? No. Absolutely not. If you want to share something (even your bed) then post away… wait that took a turn… Keep sharing stuff you enjoy. Let it be a reflection of who you are. Post cool shit. And here’s the important part: If other people don’t think it’s cool, or the post doesn’t get that many likes, don’t sweat it. Who cares!!?!? The only “like” that should matter to you, is the one that you give. And when you see something you like that someone else posts, keep hitting the like button on that too! But don’t forget, there’s way more to that post and even to that person than the highlight reel will show you. Your perception is not always someone else’s reality.
Monday: Kinsmen Playground (Grizzly Park Lodge) – Here’s what you need to know. The workout will be done by 6:45am. Don’t be late, don’t leave early. After the workout, there’s an optional social gathering that we would love for all of you to attend.
- Additional hype: Jen is so excited for Monday, that she changed her flight from her vacation so that she could be there.
- Additional hype +1: This has never been done before in the history of November Project.
- Additional hype +3: You will never forget this morning.
- Additional hype +4: Did I forget +2?
May 31: Yearbook Photos
Find the Good,