WE MISSED YOU KERRY ROSE, MOTHER OF GOOSE
TBH I was on the fence about going to NP. I needed to get a long run in, and it would have been so easy to knock it out on my usual route. But then I saw this text from you and I thought WOWOWOW what a wonderful opportunity to run with my dear friends Kerry and Zoë, I guess I’ll throw NP in the middle of my run.
So IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I come huffing and puffing up to NP and don’t see:
I know waking up on a chilly dark morning can be hard and all you want to do is stay swaddled in warm blankets.
And sometimes lazy, hungover Sundays make you feel like a loaf of bread. (yeah yeah I know you went to work, i’m choosing to ignore that)
But a Verbal is a binding contract, and you broke it. Luckily this isn’t Harry Potter or you’d die. Instead, U R DOIN ME A DISAPPOINTMENT, and not just me…
And Zoë, don’t think I forgot about your part in this (I don’t actually know what your part was in this, all I know is that Kerry kinda verballed for you). Not even a unicorn can save you from the disappointment we are feeling. Also there are literally no unflattering pictures of you, even from the sweatiest NP formal known to man.
But don’t worry, I’ll just fire up this Spotify breakup playlist I found and let Britney convince me that my loneliness ain’t killin’ me no more. Not mad, just disappointed.
Love and other drugs,