WE MISSED YOU KERRY ROSE, MOTHER OF GOOSE

TBH I was on the fence about going to NP. I needed to get a long run in, and it would have been so easy to knock it out on my usual route. But then I saw this text from you and I thought WOWOWOW what a wonderful opportunity to run with my dear friends Kerry and Zoë, I guess I’ll throw NP in the middle of my run.

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So IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I come huffing and puffing up to NP and don’t see:

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I know waking up on a chilly dark morning can be hard and all you want to do is stay swaddled in warm blankets.

.

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And sometimes lazy, hungover Sundays make you feel like a loaf of bread. (yeah yeah I know you went to work, i’m choosing to ignore that)

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But a Verbal is a binding contract, and you broke it. Luckily this isn’t Harry Potter or you’d die. Instead, U R DOIN ME A DISAPPOINTMENT, and not just me…

 

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And Zoë, don’t think I forgot about your part in this (I don’t actually know what your part was in this, all I know is that Kerry kinda verballed for you). Not even a unicorn can save you from the disappointment we are feeling. Also there are literally no unflattering pictures of you, even from the sweatiest NP formal known to man.

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But don’t worry, I’ll just fire up this Spotify breakup playlist I found and let Britney convince me that my loneliness ain’t killin’ me no more. Not mad, just disappointed.

Love and other drugs,

Jessie

Every (Kerry) Rose Has It’s Thorn (DCA)
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